and the story goes...

this time I surrender my everything forever.

2008-05-06T12:49:00.003+08:00

After nine months of this so-called "relationship", we are going through some rough patches. We are both to be blamed, I admit. He did some things that hurt me badly, it seems like as I walk along a dark road, there is someone following me, pointing a gun towards me, ready to shoot. it. I am not a perfect girlfriend, no one is. But I tried to be. Sure there were times when we'd argue about a petty thing but we'd be okay after a day or so. I didn't, for God's sake, know that THOSE misunderstandings would lead to some SERIOUS shit. I wouldn't go over the details, that would be too much of a hassle. I just want to let this out. I love him but I don't know if he still feels the same way. And sadly, even if I love him, a part of me wants to leave. How would you bring back your trust on someone who broke it many times? If I give him another chance, is there a guarantee that he won't do it again? Oh God. Torture.

-----

Didn't mean to take you for granted
Didn't mean to show I don't care
Didn't mean to throw away this once in a lifetime of chance
Being with you

And I'll drive for 2 hours
To bring Butterfingers
I don't mind the distance
This kismet's a dance

This time I surrender
My everything forever
Life doesn't matter
Just our souls together

Pride no longer has room in me
On bended knees in public I cry
Your name for everyone to know that I love you, I love you
Please hear me now

And I'll drive for 2 hours
To bring Butterfingers
I don't mind the distance
This kismet's a dance

This time I surrender
My everything forever
Life doesn't matter
Just our souls together

This time I surrender
My everything forever
Life doesn't matter
Just our souls together

And I'll drive for 2 hours
To bring Butterfingers
I don't mind the distance
This kismet's a dance(dance, dance)

This time I surrender
My everything forever
Life doesn't matter
Just our souls together

This time I surrender
My everything forever
Life doesn't matter
Just our souls together

This time I surrender
My everything....(my everything)..ooohh...

And I'll drive for 2 hours
To bring Butterfingers
I don't mind the distance
This kismet's a dance

writer's block

2008-04-11T11:59:00.003+08:00

Hola! I'm baaack! After months of blog leave, I'm finally back to writing zone. Yeah! Hahaha. Curse my nasty professors! Boo. Anyway, I'm hella bored. Summer's already here and I still haven't found a job I need caaash. Damn. Mhm. I better start working up on my resume or else I will be stuk at home, bumming around the house and... gasp! I won't be able to buy more pairs of Havaianas. Boo for me. =/

Summer is just Lalala-LOOOVE.♥♥♥

but I LOOOVE him more♥

I miss snorkeling. This pic was actually taken last year.

-----

Due to boredom, I made a wislist of things I want to get this year.

I soooo love this HK tee. Can't wait to get it! HK is really LOVE. =)

This hoodie is from Bangkok pa, and I'll be getting it on the 2nd week of May. Waaa. Can't really wait!

Lacoste Slim Bag (Petal Pink). I so want this but sadly, I still don't have the money. =( I saw it online for 3k something.

Alert Black. My friend got hers for 750php online. I'm so inggit.

Make Your Own Havaianas. If only Avianne will sell this pair...

Kids Fairy Lilac. This is über nice. I instantly fell in love with this pair.

I badly want this pair pero 'di ko naabutan sa AFF. So now, I'm looking for a pre-owned one online.

Havaianas Top Aqua

Havaianas Top Pink

Havaianas Top Lime

Havaianas Top Orchid

Havaianas Top Yellow

I'm really addicted to Havaianas!!!

Quotes♥

2008-01-01T13:53:00.001+08:00

[1]

& we could help each other off the ground,

so we never fall down again.

And what it takes i don't care.

[2]

People only talk shit out of jealousy;

they hate the fact you've got something they want.

[3]

I just want you to know

you're the one I love most.

Nobody else can take your place; no one else comes close.

[4]

At the sight of your appearance, my smile becomes uncontrollable. The slip of your touch heals my sorrows. The look of your eye opens my heart & the blessing of your kiss fills it. The ring of your call stops my heart & the sound of your voice starts it. The company of you makes me speechless when there are so many things to say, motionless when there are so many things to do, & needy when there's only one person I want. So don't tell me I don't love you, because I do. Because of you, this is the first & only time I've ever felt like this, but I know, this is love. Because of you. <3

[5]

Boy: I love you.

Girl: How do I know that's true?

Boy: Because whenever I see you I can't stop smiling,

& when I hold you I never want to let go.

When you talk I could listen forever

& when you leave my side I want you back in my arms to never leave me, ever.

[6]

Tonight just before I went to sleep,

I thought of you and I missed you.

I reached for your sweatshirt and I slipped it over my head

and it smelt just like you...

it was like you were right there with me.

[7]

I love the way my fingers just fall into yours.

I love how your taste still lingers on my lips after that special goodnight kiss.

I love how whenever I go to call someone I automatically dial your number.

I love how you look at me with those gorgeous eyes

& then you smile that sweet smile.

& I know right there that you will always be mine.

I love how you hug me with the intention of never letting go.

I love you more than words could ever show.

[8]

& when I first met you I never would have imagined

that I would have such strong feelings for you.

I never would have thought that I would have dreams about you

or miss being by your side or

get butterflies in my stomachwhen someone mentions your name.

When I first met you I never would have thought that i would love you.

[9]

My friends and I are the type of people

that would get hit by a parked car.

[10]

I want a guy that doesn't care about what I wear,

or how I do my hair,

who loves my smile and my dorky laugh,

and how I get hyper when I'm tired,

who would never want to see me cry,

~~at least not out of sadness,~~

and who would do those small things that make my day,

just because he knows it would make me happy.

[11]

him: what if I promised we'd go out forever?

her: you can't promise that.

him: if anyone can, it'd be me.

her: what if another girl comes along?

him: there is no other girl. there's only you.

[12]

He's not the kind of guy you date.

He's the kind of guy you marry.

[13]

So, she could give you the whole damn world-

and you ache because she won't.

Boy, there's a girl in the corner who wants to give you

her whole damn heart.<3

[14]

Girl: "What do you want to be when you grow up?"

Boy: "Your Husband."

[15]

Every day i wonder why he saw me

when a thousand other girls saw him.

[16]

Her: So I love this boy.

Him: Yeah, I think I know him.

Her: He's pretty amazing.

Him: Yeah he's one lucky guy.

Her: We're pretty good together

Him: Yeah, the perfect couple.It's like a fairytale ending.

Her: Except I pray it never ends.

Him: We're never going to end.

Her: I know.

[17]

[on the phone]

him: i love you.

her: i love you too.

him: no but i love you.

her: yeah, i love you too.

him: listen, I LOVE YOU.

her [grinning from ear-to-ear]: i love you too.

him: there's that smile i was looking for.

[18]

You said my heart sounded like a payphone in the rain. Distorted, distant, scrambled, and ~~desperate.~~

[19]

Like my favorite record, you're a little overplayed

and like my favorite summer you'll never fade away. <3

[20]

Barefoot or first thing in the morning, I feel beautiful.

I didn't always feel that way, but I feel that way now.

When somebody just loves you,

and when you make somebody else happy,

when your presence seems to make them happy,

you suddenly feel like the most beautiful person in the world.

[21]

His finger traced 'I love you' in the palm of my hand.

Thats the only time my stomach's ever hit the floor like that.

[22]

He has something worth tripping over.

I just didn't know I would fall so hard.

[23]

I wanna be the girl he yells out to into the hallway saying,

"i LOVE YOU BABE"

not caring who hears it- but just cares if i do.

[24]

girl: what would you like to lose, if you had to?your sight, your hearing, your voice?

boy: my heart. so it won't hurt when i can't see your face, when i can't hear your voice & when i can't say i love you.

[25]

Honey, don't promise her forever.

She might do something silly and believe it.

[26]

I believe in love and lust and sex and romance.

I don't want everything to add up to some p e r f e c t e q u a t i o n .

I want mess and chaos.

I want someone to go crazy, out of his mind for me.

I want to feel passion and heat and sweat and madness and all the rest of that crap.

I want it all.

[27]

Your voice is like a symphony, it's like a soft, slow tone,

I could listen to the rest of my life.<3<3

[28]

No matter what someone tells you, there is a person out there that is meant to wake up next to you every morning.

[29]

And he looked at me, with the same look in his eyes as the first day we met. And I knew, right then, I could never let him look at anyone else that way again.

[30]

He’s the only one who has enough of me to break my heart.

He’s all that I need to fall into.

[31]

He was holding her tight so she couldn’t leave

but he didn’t realize she had no reason to go.

[32]

Because when you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with somebody,

you want the rest of your life to start as soon as possible.

[33]

People ask me why its so hard to trust people.

And I ask them why is it so hard to keep a promise.

[34]

I'm no little girl anymore, for anyone whose hurt me, teased me, or two timed me.

I'm not going to plan out how to make your life a living hell

or tell you I'm gonna beat your ass.

I'm gonna do something way better.

I'm gonna sit here and tell you,

Karma's a bitch, you'll get your bitch.

[35]

If you're willing to chase me,I promise I'll run slow, just for you.

[36]

You're a jerk & you're immature. You flirt entirely too much & sometimes I just want to strangle you.

But on top of that, I just want to let you know you're my everything.

[37]

It's amazing. Some people, they just say these small little things,

one sentence and it changed the way you feel about them in an instant.

Small little words that can hurt you so much

or make you fall deeply in love forever.

It changes everything, nothing between you is everreally the same again,

even if they don't know it, it still happens.

[38]

True love is when you fight but everything you said you didn't mean.

And even when he's mad at you, you still love him as much as you always have.

[39]

While every other girl doodles hearts in her notebook,

I doodle tiny stars;

little wishes for everything to turn out okay.

[40]

Our teacher told us to highlight anything we want;

so i went up to you

and marked you with my highlighter.

[41]

She's just a girl trying to find herself

in this huge world without a map.

[42]

You're that guy,

the one no matter how many more guys I go through,

I'll always have a thing for you.

[43]

I'm going to marry you someday.

So make sure you plan your life accordingly.

[44]

And I don't know where you take me.

But it's exactly where I wanna be.

[45]

I know people are sick of me talking about you;

but my heart isn't sick of loving you.

[46]

I don't know why I fell for you,

maybe it was just on accident.

[47]

You said you would die for me,

you must live for me too.

[48]

If I could have just one dance with you,

I would pick a song that never ends.

[49]

You make my heart feel something it's never feelt before. And every time I see you, I fall in love a little bit more.

[50]

And i found myself looking for his imperfections.

And when I found them,Ii didn't think twice about it.

I decided that they just don't matter anymore.

[51]

She was the kind of girl who didn't fall in love easily,

until he came along & changed everything..

[52]

Once again, we sit questioning mortality,

living beyond borders. But isn't that what it's all about?

fuck drama.

2007-11-24T14:36:00.000+08:00

I can't help but feel a little down lately. Everytime I look at myself in the mirror I always end up bashing how terrible I look. Gaaaadddd. I don't look like a hideous monster or something, but damn I'm totally underweight. I've been like this for years (my friends can attest to that). It's not that I don't eat that much, I always pig out, really but somehow I still don't get it why I haven't gain weight. I'm totally desperate, man. I just hope the medicine I asked Crae to but for me will work. Pleaaasse.

thank you for the heartbreak.

2007-11-17T13:31:00.000+08:00

People think that once you've fallen in love, with that boy who's willing to give you his whole heart, promises you the world and all that shit, you're totally saved from experiencing any more heartbreak... Those people are completely wrong. No one in this world, no boy, no matter how perfect he may seem, can promise you a heartbreak-free relationship. Sure he may seem perfect, and he gives you that unexplainable feeling that no amount of words in the dictionary strewn together will ever be remotely close enough to describe how it really feels to be in love with him and to have him love you back. It's that feeling you get, where you cant stop smiling after you talk to him and you still get butterflies in your stomach and that huge smile across your face every time you see him , that lets you know he will always mean something to you. But behind all that, there's a hidden world of lies, hurt, betrayal and deceit just waiting to happen. I had to learn that the hard way. Oh boy, did I ever.

It's a tiring cycle, a roller coaster of emotions.

For now, I just wanna forget all the crap that he's been putting me through. Anyway, I still got lotsa shits to do. I'll update if I have time.

2007-10-12T17:52:00.000+08:00

I really need to stop spending too much money. I can't believe I actually spent P1000+ last Monday and P500 everyday. Goddamn. Ease up on Starbucks and foods, baby!

completely ironic.

2007-10-11T17:50:00.000+08:00

It's almost the finals and I can't get that crap outta my head. Bleed. And I envy my friends who started their sem breaks already. And here I am STUCK. Anyway, my Values class just finished a while ago and the topic was damn interesting. We tackled legal separation, divorce, live-ins, OFWs and a lot. When our prof asked who among us has folks working abroad, I was one of the VERY FEW who stood up. She then asked each of us how that case affected us/our family/ourselves. And i said, since I didn't grow up being with my dad, I really got used to it. It's nothing but a normal thing for me. I kinda got immuned. As long as I get financial support, it's OK. That's what really matters to me. I think that's what happens to you when you grow up in a broken family. Sad in a way, yes. You get what I mean? Ha ha. Then her question got me: "In the future, would you like your husband to leave your children?" And I answered, "Of course not." in a low, sad voice. And again, about the live-in thingy, she asked if there is among us who would prefer live-ins. I guess you know what happenes next. Yes, I was the ONLY ONE who raised a hand. LOL! I'm not talking shit here but in a way I would really consider it since I don't want to be divorced or anything. Live-in for me is a way to still get to know my partner. I guess you could say that even without live-in you can still get to know you bf/gf but once you're living in the same roof, the real thing happens, buttered wives and all. I wouldn't want to be one. Who does, right? I wouldn't want to end up like mom and dad who got separated (but not legally though) because of some reasons. And AGAIN she caught me with a question: "Would you like your children to have live-ins when they grow up?" I wasn't able to answer. You know why? Because at the back of my mind, I know that is wrong. Am I sounding or talking so ironic? LOL.

I'm just being honest here. No shit. :-)

LSS: Panic! At The Disco's I Write Sins Not Tragedies

oh boy.

2007-09-20T20:40:00.000+08:00

So what if I'm immature? Sorry that's hell for you. And oh, don't worry, next time i won't be waiting again for that long 'cause i'll just get mad. >_<

-----

Yeah, whatevs. SHUTTHEFUCKUP Iris.

POT <3 Lalalala.

2007-09-07T12:28:00.000+08:00

WONDERFUL DAYS

FLY HIGH

GOLDEN PAIR

vs.

SILVER PAIR

lovely day :)

2007-09-02T13:31:00.000+08:00

I went to school yesterday though there are no classes because of the opening of the Foundation week. School's eating up most of my time. Bummer! >_< But anyway, I enjoyed yesterday because I got to meet and interview Ken Kishimoto about the upcoming pageant.

Also in the video is Marvin Melendres, our very own representative. :-)

Ken-san is really nice. :)

-----

I spent last night with my love at Starbucks. Having coffee and cigarette is LOVE. But hanging out with him is EVEN MORE. :-) You just made my day more meaningful AGAIN. I LOVE YOU SO MUCH FOR IT, DEAR. :-)

2007-08-29T14:59:00.000+08:00

Kudos goes to Elzo-kun for this wonderful pix! Yey!!

2007-08-27T19:14:00.000+08:00

You're sick. I just don't get it why you have to stood me up. You suck.

2007-08-25T13:01:00.000+08:00

I actually super love this opening song. :-)

Here's my fave "White Line" the Aozu (fuji, ryoma, oishi,and tezuka) version.

While here's the version of my ONE and ONLY FUJI SYUSUKE. :-)

moshi moshi! i'm back!

2007-08-23T12:10:00.000+08:00

Yesterday was our field trip to Sugarland where we got free jelly ace but i just gave them away to Grace 'cause i don't eat those, Meralco (supposed to be) and EK. The ride was so boring and I wasn't feel well. We got there past 11. The entire trip was so fun (though i got wet because of Riogrande). I mean, we were all soaking in wet! Lmao!

On the other hand...

School sucks! Yup, totally. We won't start our midterms til next week. My god. And I'm actually losing interest in going to school. I always cut class. Someone help me please. >_<

Enui...

I love mettalics. It really looks good. I get lots of praises. :-)

kawai :-) aishiteru momo-chan fuji-sempai tezuka-sempai kikumaru-sempai :-)

2007-08-21T09:16:00.000+08:00

Hiroki Aiba as Fuji Syusuke

-----

Yuu Shirota as Tezuka Kunimitsu

-----

seigaku tennis club

the regulars

kikumaru sleeping

kawai :-)

the4 seishun gakuwen regulars of the tennis club

krishaira's 2nd birthday

2007-08-07T09:02:00.000+08:00

Where: Shakey's Malate
When: Aug. 04, 2007

more pix on ma multiply site! http://supahjill06.multiply.com/

enjoy!

aishiteru :)

2007-08-01T21:05:00.000+08:00

"You know what, dear? You really know how to make a person satisfied." -Thon

-----

His kisses are soft, subtle and tender. The saccharine taste when his lips touched mine was something I still couldn't seem to comprehend. For the first time in my life, it felt so damn good. And I can't seem to stop kissing him. I know it could go on like that forever. ♥

hear me out :-)

2007-07-27T09:19:00.000+08:00

"..and i know it's cliche to tell you that everyday i spend with you is the new best day of my life."♥

"Before, my fear was being vulnerable. The ability of another human being to possibly tear apart your insides at any moment was enough to keep me running. He, however, made my insides come alive, my smile become permanent, laughter more frequent- he took away my fear and gave me hope. But more importantly, for the first time in my life, instead of wanting to run, he gave me every reason to stay."♥

"When i was in grade school, they told me to write down what i wanted to be when i grew up. i wrote down HAPPY. They told me i didn't understand the homework; i told them i didn't understand life."♥

"The truth is we`re still young. We`ve got time to mess up, things to do that we`ll regret, hearts to break and mend and parties we`ll never forget. Coz right now, we`re just kids. We have fuck this up right."♥

2007-07-22T10:54:00.000+08:00

It's weird.

You know that end of something great is coming but you just wanna hold on... Just for one more second...

Just so it can hurt a little more.

jill's current obsessions

2007-07-21T21:19:00.000+08:00

1. GTO & Slamdunk

As y'all know, I'm soooo into Miyagi and Mitsui of Slamdunk and Kikuchi of GTO. Idk why. Hahaha. They keep o makin' my heart beat faster. Lalalala. <3>

2. Black Bat

People who know me that well are aware of my oh-so-weird LOVE to this ciggie. It tastes like chocolate. And I'm a total chocoholic. Plus, a smoker.

3. Sushi and sashimi

I just can't seem to get enough of this Japanese food. After eating, all I can say is "WOW!" This is definitely the best. Oh my, I so love JAPAN!

4. Paris Hilton Glistening Body Lotion

I got this one from my aunt who got this straight from the US. Idk if this is available here. It's the bomb! Perfect for a night of partying. Ooh-lala.

5.top and hoodie

I got this hoodie and top for P299 and P99 at the SM sale. A total steal! :)

2007-07-17T09:06:00.000+08:00

Damn, I can't totally understand it. I feel so fucked up. Damn. You know what I mean? Those times that you don't want to do absolutely anything but to lie down, smoke and drink? This is BULLSHIT.

untitled post

2007-07-12T15:04:00.000+08:00

Time really flies so fast. I can't believe that I'm not a minor anymore. Happy 18th birthday to me! :):)

Jr and I went to All Flip-Flops, Glorietta to buy new slippers. Right after, we went to Tokyo Tokyo to have my ever favorite SUSHI & SASHIMI!!! Yum yum! :) Sobrang na-miss ko 'yung mga 'yun! Thanks pare for the treat, kahit nangapa ako sa paggamit ng chopsticks :P I love you more for that :)

more pictures are on my multiply site. http://supahjill06.multiply.com/

Daniel Radcliffe was L-O-V-E! I swear! He got my heart again. And I can't help but fall. :))

boy, our love is classic <3

2007-07-03T09:52:00.000+08:00

When I see your smile
Tears run down my face
I can't replace
And now that I'm strong
I have figured out
How this world turns cold and it breaks through my soul

And I know I'll find deep inside me
I can be the one
I will never let you fall
I'll stand up with you forever
I'll be there for you through it all
Even if saving you sends me to heaven
It's okay
It's okay
It's okay

Seasons are changing
And waves are crashing
And stars are falling all for us
Days grow longer and nights grow shorter
I can show you
I'll be the one
I will never let you fall (let you fall)
I'll stand up with you forever
I'll be there for you through it all (through it all)
Even if saving you sends me to heaven
Cuz you're my, you're my, my, my true love, my whole heart
Please don't throw that away

Cuz I'm here for you
Please don't walk away and
Please tell me you'll stay woah, stay woah
Use me as you will
Pull my strings just for a thrill
And I know I'll be okay
Though my skies are turning gray
I will never let you fall
I'll stand up with you forever
I'll be there for you through it all
Even if saving you sends me to heaven

the jokes on you, my dear.

2007-06-29T22:35:00.000+08:00

These past few days, I don't know what's typically wrong with me. It's like I don't have any motivation to study. I got a 27 total score out of 50 items on my first eco quiz and 70 mark on my first PE practical exam. My god. This is real bad. =/

i'm incredibly hungry and insane. my god. this is riza's fault.

2007-06-28T22:43:00.000+08:00

Where the hell can I get this? It isn't often I so sincerely look forward to trying a candy and it actually lives up to my expectations -- I feel like I've happily keeled over into a bed of raspberry satin, just like the woman in this rich fruit chocolate commercial.

Whoa! Brandy kitkat! I gotta ask my aunt from Japan to bring me this or else.

vain :)

2007-06-24T16:23:00.000+08:00

KAEDE RUKAWA, RYOTA MIYAGI & HISASHI MITSUI is LOVE. Lalalala. <3

2007-06-23T16:02:00.000+08:00

Name: Miyagi Ryota

A.k.a.: Lightning, Shorty, Ryo-chin
Height: 168 cm
Weight: 59 kg
Birthday: July 31

Age: 16 - 17

Highschool: Shohoku Highschool
Jersey Number: 7
Position: Point Guard
Year: High School 2nd Year
Classroom Number: 1

Grade: 2nd
Shoes Brand: Converse
Grade: Not Good!

Voice actor: Yoku Shioya

Family and background:

There is not much known about Miyagi's background. He might have siblings, but we can't be sure. He joined the basketball team for his love for the game in the first place. But soon it seems that he is also playing for the love of his life Ayako, the team manager. Although Ryonan's coach asked him to join the Ryonan Basketball Team, Miyagi chose for Shohoku because of Anzai. Miyagi is a problem kid, he gets into fights a lot and got himself beaten up. He was also the one who beat Mitsui up, but he had to pay the price of staying in the hospital for some time.

Special abilities:

Miyagi is quite short, but he has the greatest speed of all players mentioned in Slam Dunk. He has a great dribble and combined with his speed he's able to tear up the opponent's defense and deliver excellent (no-look) passes to the free team mate. He's also able to get a score at his own powers and his steals are just marvelous. Miyagi is a good point guard with a great sight on the game, he's also able to find his team mates without looking for them. He's the strategist of the team, and thanks to this role and his own skills he becomes the next team captain as Akagi retires to focus on exams. By the way, he is also a good street fighter and has a very good flying kick. (Mitsui told)Coach Anzai says that Miyagi's value to the team is his great speed and his keen senses.

Special features:

His quite short length and the blue earring in his left ear. He also wears sweat bands on his left wrist. I think his hair is cool, it looks fine on him. Maybe his love for Ayako should be mentioned.

Personality:

Miyagi is a smart but kinda rude person, who is only nice and sweet to Ayako... He tried to date other girls to forget Ayako, but he failed to. So he can be a very sensitive person too. In the beginning he mistook Sakuragi for Ayako's boyfriend and got into a fight with him immediately. Later when they found out about each other's painful roads of love, they feel sympathy for each other and start to get along. That's how they became good friends. Miyagi is a bit short tempered sometimes and hates when people make fun of his length. In the match vs Toyotama he gets angry with the opposing point guard, loses his view on the game and almost beats the guy. But in the second half he is able to remain calm again and show his true powers.

Name: Hisashi Mitsui

A.k.a.: Mit-chin, Mitchi, Man of Fire

Age: 17 - 18

Birthday: May 22nd

Highschool: Shohoku Highschool

Junior High: Takeishi junior high

Grade: 3rd

Class: 3

Height: 184 cm (6'0 ½)

Weight: 70 kg (154 lbs.)

Position: shooting guard (SG)

Jersey no.: 14

Shoe Brand: Asics

Voice actor: Ryotaro Okiayu

Family and background:

Mitsui lives with his parents, it's likely that he's only child. When Mitsui was in junior high his team was in the finals of the Inter Junior Highschool competition. In the final minute his team is one point behind, he tried to steal the ball but the ball went out. At this moment he felt that there was no chance for his team to win, but Anzai walked upon him and while handing him the ball he said the words that would change his life: "Don't ever give up hope until the very last moment. If you give up the game is already over." Mitsui managed to steal the ball and hit the buzzer beater. He would be chosen MVP of Junior High.

The highschool basketball teams were probably in the row asking him to join their teams, but Mitsui chose to attend Shohoku Highschool and to join its basketball team, which Anzai is the coach of. He showed his already incredible abilities: he just finished junior high, but his skills were already better than a lot of highschool players! However, during a training game Mitsui seriously injured his left knee and had to stay in the hospital. Mitsui insisted to play although he wasn't fully recovered yet; he wanted to make it to the district games so badly. But he injured his knee again and at the first day of the games he still wasn't able to walk. He couldn't handle that truth and from that day on Mitsui wasn't seen on the court again. He joined a group of local delinquents and stopped playing basketball.

In his 3rd year of highschool he gets in fights with another juvenile Ryota Miyagi who is also member of the basketball team. Mitsui and his friends go to the training court to cause trouble so that the basketball team will be dismissed (Shohoku's rules). Akagi and Kogure are the only ones who know about his past. Even the delinquent friends know nothing about his b-ball past. Mitsui refuses to talk about it and keeps fighting, but then coach Anzai appears and Mitsui breaks down in tears as he remembers all the great moments he had as a basketball player and the things he wanted to do for Anzai's team. He finally speaks up his memorable line: "I want to play basketball." Soon he cuts off his long hair and joins the team.

Special abilities:

Mitsui is a very talented shooter, especially his 3-pointers are a great weapon. He needs little time to fire a very accurate shot. Due to his two-year absence from the court, his lacks physical shape. When he's guarded well in matches versus strong opponents, he can't hold on till the end of the game. But Mitsui is an incredible fighter and never gives up until he literally falls down.

Mitsui is not just a good shooter, he is also a very good guard who is able stop marvelous forwards such as Fukuda. He has keen senses and is an intelligent player, he knows the game of basketball so well. In one of the training games Mitsui guards Sakuragi and not only immediately finds his weaknesses, but he was also able to let Sakuragi know what he was lacking.

Coach Anzai describes Mistui as someone who once walked down the wrong path, but still is intelligent and possessing a great weapon.

Special features:

Mitsui still wears a knee protection bandage around his left knee. He also has a mark left from his delinquent life, which is a little scar on the left of his chin. His jersey number is quite unique too.

Personality:

Mitsui is a very cool guy. He has in contrary to the others a very sad past, he wasted two years of his basketball life and he feels really sorry about that. He never lets anyone know about his anger and sadness though, always trying to solve problems on his own. He is a proud and independent player who is willing to give everything for the game. He shows respect for players that are capable, but he will even disregard seniors if they are no good. Not really a nice guy on the court... But I believe that he's a very good and loyal friend.

Name: Kaede Rukawa

A.k.a.: Wild Fox, Super Rookie, Shohoku's Ace player

Age: 15 - 16

Birthday: January 1st

Highschool: Shohoku Highschool

Junior High: Tomigaoka Junior Highschool

Grade: 1st

Class: 10

Height: 187 cm (6'1 ½)

Weight: 75 kg (165 lbs.)

Position: small forward (SF)

Jersey no.: 11

Shoe Brand: Nike Air Jordan 5

Voice actor: Hikaru Midorikawa

Family and background:

There is not much known about Rukawa's family. But as we look at his Nike outfit, Panasonic walkman and cool bike we get the idea that he's from a quite wealthy family. He attended the Tomigaoka Junior High. He was captain of the basketball team and was already a very well known player. Although Ryonan's coach asked him to join the Ryonan Basketball Team, Rukawa chose for Shohoku. (Because it's near his home...) He doesn't have any close friends. Rukawa is extremely popular at school; he has his own cheerleaders club, that started off with three girls but grew out to a LOT. Besides, he also has a great fan called Ichiro Mizumasa who is still attending his Junior Highschool and has become the basketball team's captain after Rukawa left. Ichiro's biggest dream is to become national champion along with Rukawa. Unfortunately, Ichiro has a terrible injury to his knee, has to undergo surgery and won't be able to play basketball anymore.

Special abilities:

Rukawa is an all-round player: he can play defense and offense as well, he is much more known for his incredible scoring ability though! He has a very nice and accurate jump shoot, good inside moves, fancy slam dunks and he eventually hits three-pointers too. His free throws are accurate, he also has a nice dribble and is a good rebounder due to his height and athletic jumping ability. He likes to play the one-on-one game, for it gives him the best challenge. On his way to the basket he'll never pass the ball to his teammates, always believing in his own skills. He's quite dedicated to this kind of playing style. In the game vs Sannoh though he lost his one-on-one attempts vs probably the best player in Highschool Sawakita, during that game he changes his style and starts giving assists. In the first IH game vs Toyotama High, he gets injured to his eye but was still able to play with one eye (i.e.: not being able to see depth nor estimate distances). He had even closed his eyes while taking free throws relying on his body.

Coach Anzai sees a great talent in him and knows he'll be a marvelous national player. He said that Rukawa's contribution to the team is his explosive powers and his ever lasting will to win.Thanks to all these outstanding qualities, Rukawa was chosen one of the five best players of Kanagawa, along with Akagi, Kainan's Maki and Jin, and Ryonan's Sendoh.And then an ability that hasn't much to do with basketball: sleeping. Rukawa's life seems to be dedicated to two things: basketball and sleeping. He is even able to fall asleep when he's biking... Thanks to his rudeness he gets into fights a lot, and he happens to be a very good fighter as well. (Yeah, some guys get all the good stuff...)

Special features:

Rukawa is always very serious, cool and he doesn't speak a lot. So his smileless face could be a feature... The sweatband around his left arm (kinda like Michael Jordan's). He has quite long bangs and no.11 is of course his trademark jersey number.

Personality:

Rukawa is a very cool person and seems not to care about anything but basketball. His passion for basketball and sleeping are the only things he has in mind. He is kinda rude to most of the people he meets, but to the ladies he is less rude, just silent. He hates when people disturb him when he's asleep, mostly he'll beat those people up, even if he's dealing with teachers... Rukawa is definitely a person of action rather than words. When his team is behind, he's always the person who steps up and takes over the game. A lot of people consider Rukawa as the most selfish person ever, but he doesn't care about what others think about him. Rukawa is a confident and independent person for sure. He only respects people that are strong and capable, but those are also the people that he sees as rivals; and he wants to defeat that kind of people very badly. By the way, he takes winning and losing very seriously; he hates to lose...

Name: Hanamichi Sakuragi

A.k.a.: Red Haired Monkey, Tensai, Genius, King of the Rebound, King of Fouls, Iron Man

Age: 15 - 16

Birthday: April 1st

Highschool: Shohoku Highschool

Junior High: Wakou Junior Highschool

Grade: 1st

Class: 7

Height: 188 cm (6'2); at the end 189.2 cm (6'2 ½)

Weight: 83 kg (182.6 lbs.)

Position: power forward (PF)

Jersey no.: 10

Shoe Brand: Nike Air Jordan 6 and Nike Air Jordan 1

Voice actor: Takeshi Kusao

Family and background:

Sakuragi probably has no siblings and probably spent most of his youth on the streets. From a flash back we learn that his father died from a heart attack. Sakuragi got into a fight again with a few guys, when he got home and found his father on the floor, he went to get a doctor but the guys he had just beaten up blocked his way after getting some reinforcements. Probably Sakuragi couldn't get a doctor for his father in time...He has four very good friends with which he forms the Sakuragi Gang. They are Yohei Mitoi, Sauichiro Omachu, Anozumi Hakami and Yuji Ookuzu. They have known each other since Junior High and don't have a good reputation. Sakuragi has been rejected by 50 girls in his Junior High time, when he meets Haruko Akagi at Shohoku High he immediately falls in love again. And since Haruko is a great b-ball fan he joins the b-ball team to please her. But soon he finds out that he really has talent and loves the game very much. The game kept him from the streets a lot and changed his personality.

Special abilities:

Sakuragi is a natural talent. His greatest abilities are his rebounding ability and his never ending energy. He is tall and strong, but also very fast and flexible. And just like Rukawa he can jump really high!The Slam Dunk story's time span is only 4 months, but during these months Sakuragi already learned how to dribble, rebound, dunk, block, the layup and some shooting to become a very valuable player to the team. And he is able to do unbelievable things at unexpected moments! He grows by every game he plays. By the way he gets into fights a lot, but probably hasn't lost any fight in his life, so he actually is the Street Fighter King... A funny note: Sakuragi was able to ride a bike even faster than a car.Coach Anzai says that Sakuragi brings the team rebounding powers and strength.

Special features:

Sakuragi is a loud guy and claims to be the genius of the court. You recognize him by his big mouth... And his red hair is definitely his trade mark hair cut. He cut off his long hair after the game vs Kainan, because he thought it was his fault that they lost the game. He passed the ball to Kainan's center Takasago instead of Akagi with less than 20 seconds on the clock while they were 2 points behind.

Personality:

Sakuragi is a short tempered person, but he slowly changes. He is anything but modest: although he is just a rookie he always claims to be the best player of the team, district and country. He is very stubborn and doesn't want to listen to other people's criticism. But he is also a very quick learner who learns from his mistakes. He can be sensitive and naive sometimes, that shows that he actually is still a young guy.He 'hates' Rukawa for his ability and for being the person Haruko is in love with. Deep in his heart he knows that Rukawa is a very capable player, but he never wants to admit. Rukawa has become his biggest rival and that probably will never change. But Rukawa is also an important reason for this growth: he wants to be better than Rukawa so badly!He isn't really a very smart guy, but you have to admit that sometimes he really is a genius (on the court). He is just a newbie but understands the game very well. He's always learning from his own mistakes, he analyzes his own technique and improves every day. For example: his free throw kinda sucks, and he found out to throw the ball from low (between the knees) to high.

Name: Akira Sendoh

A.k.a.: The Genius, Ryonan's Ace Player

Age: 16- 17

Birthday: Probably February 14th

Highschool: Ryonan Highschool

Junior High: Kitazawagakuen Jr in Tokyo

Grade: 2nd

Height: 190 cm (6'3)

Weight: 79 kg (174 lbs.)

Position: point guard (PG) & small forward (SF)

Jersey no.: 7

Shoe Brand: Converse

Voice actor: Yoshitada Ohtsuka

Family and background:

We don't know much about Sendoh's family. Somehow we believe that he's only child in a nice warm family. Despite his friendly character, he seems to be a loner. He could be friends with anybody though, everyone seems to like him so much. Soon after he joined the Ryonan highschool team he became the ace player because of his incredible talent and abilities.

Special abilities:

Sendoh is one the most talented players around in Slam Dunk. He's a good shooter, nice rebounder and also a strategist of the game. He's able to play fancy offense but also great defense to stop outstanding forwards such as Rukawa. Despite his height he's a very speedy and flexible player. He ain't the Genius for nothing. Sakuragi likes to call himself the Genius, but Sendoh is called the true Genius by others. In his first year of highschool he was a small forward and literally a scoring machine (similarity with Rukawa), but in his second year he figured the fun of passing the ball and upgraded the whole team. His sight on the game is outstanding and his senses are very high; thanks to these facts he became the excellent point guard of the team, which is quite exceptional for such a tall player. But he does his job very well and is without a doubt the ace player of Ryonan. Along with Fukuda and Uozumi they form the strongest offense of Kanagawa.Not only is he the ace player, he's also the mental support of the team, when things are going wrong, the team members keep having faith in their star player. Sendoh is that kinda player that can bring up the best qualities of others. He's a very reliable player: when the team is behind, he'll show his scoring ability again without losing the focus on the game. He knows what the best is for his team. It's often said that Sendoh is the true captain of Ryonan instead of Uozumi, because he has the ability to calm down the team, and also fire up and unify the team. When Uozumi retires from the game Sendoh becomes the new captain.Although Ryonan lost their game vs Shohoku and also their opportunity to play in the IH competition, Sendoh was chosen one of the five best players of Kanagawa (of course). The other four were Maki, Akagi, Jin and Rukawa (of course).

Special features:

His spiky hair and ever disarming smile.

Personality:

Sendoh is in contrary to most of the Slam Dunk characters a very nice and warm person. He always smiles and is friendly and modest, although he surely knows that he is a more than marvelous player. He never loses his temper and shows respect to strong players, but definitely won't give away any game! He's a fighter for victory no matter what. The only problem he might have is his lack of focus when he meets an opponent that's not very strong. His concentration is optimal when he's playing rivals such as Rukawa and Maki; such guys bring up the best in him. Although they are rivals, I believe that Rukawa and Maki truly have respect for this genius. And Sendoh is that kinda person you can't resist, you just have to respect this guy.But it happens that Sendoh is not really caring about being in time... He was late at the practice game vs Shohoku, but his honesty ("Sorry coach, I overslept.") was so disarming that Ryonan's coach simply couldn't get angry at him... He was also late on the training right after the district games. Sendoh's biggest hobby, besides of basketball of course, is fishing. He is always alone. I think the fishing part is to relax from the tension, I mean the whole team is laying in his hands: he's the player the team leans on. Everyone needs a time to relax, Rukawa sleeps and Sendoh fishes. (I will never understand geniuses...)

2007-06-22T13:25:00.000+08:00

Happy Birthday, pare. More birthdays to come. :] Lalalala.<3

2007-06-20T19:47:00.000+08:00

I guess this is it... It's now over... Why does it really hurt so bad inside? :(

whatev.

2007-06-10T16:20:00.000+08:00

I've been anticipating Oceans Thirteen for like eternity and I'm so happy that I've finnaly come to watch it! Yey! *clap clap* I love the setting of the story, Casino and Poker, lurve it! :) You guys should catch it, it's the bomb!. Well, before that we went to Amici di Don Bosco to try their Italian cooking and I swear their lasgna and carbonara are the best! *Yum*. You can also try their desserts and you'll surely come back for more. :) The movie ended though by 9:30 and we headed straight to Kamayan to have dinner. We got home 11 pm na. Kapagod. Hahaha.

I'll update next time, I still ahve to go to JR's place. :)

on leaving... and coming back

2007-06-06T21:06:00.000+08:00

Imagine plotting a life plan for yourself and then realizing at some point that it's not the way it's supposed to be.

Well, that's my story. Ever since I could remember, I wanted to work in a hospital, wearing a white suit and looking so professional. In short I wanted to be a doctor. But I later realized that pursuing that dream would mean studying my entire life, being [repared even in the middle of the night in case there are emergencies and risking the life of my patients. Not quite the profession I wanted.

On the other hand, I've always been fascinated in human behaviour so I decided to transfer schools and shift to psychology. Unfortunately, the school of my choice isn't accepting second sem transferees and I have to start from scratch. I am in between horns of dilemma that time. I don't know whether to stop or continue my course then which was med tech. For weeks I spent sleepless nights. My mind was in utter chaos. I felt like I messed up my entire future. I never thought that I'll be going through that phase in my life. Then I realized that this is just the tip of the iceberg. This is just a tiny part of what's out there.

My high school friends were quite shocked when they found out I stopped. I was always the good student --- I never cut class, I was always on top and I manage to earn good grades. Sadly though, I have to accept that things don't always go according to my plans. College is indeed, a whole different ball game. I thought I was prepared when I entered it. But boy, was I so wrong.

My sem off from scholl has definitely been an emotional rollercoaster ride. Stopping from school has its highs and lows. At first, I felt so liberated. I didn't have a rigid schedule. I could do anything I want.

But later on, it dawned on me that there was a downside to leaving school. There were times I'd feel so useless. I felt like Ideserved to go to school and study the course I wanted. Since I'd be sulking and feeling lonely at home, I'd end up looking for jobs to provide me with income since I don't have allowance and to keep me busy too.

Throughout the year, there were countless times I'd wish I were back in school. I miss going to class. I miss the atmosphere of the university, meeting new blockmates, learning new things. I miss having light-bulb moments or feeling inspired by anecdotes from my professors. I miss the anxiety of project deadlines --- even anticipating exam results. I miss the lil, almost mundane things that make going to school fun: chatting and texting during a boring class, notebooks, bright gel pens and crisp photocopied papers. I've never missed school so much in my life.

There are things I regret and there are those I don't. I wasn't able to attend school for seven months but I also went through a lot of things I wouldn't have experienced inside a classroom. The most important thing I learned is to live with the consequences of my actions.

I'm honestly scared of taking the plunge into the academic world again. But I believe that things always happen for a reason, and I've accepted that I'd have to spend a couple more extra years in college. Maybe being a doctor is not really meant for me but I know I'll find my niche eventually. I'm preparing myself for whatever will come my way. And I so can't wait to go back to school! I can't believe I'm feeling first-day-of-class jitters again!

wtf.

2007-05-31T20:33:00.000+08:00

Update ulet!

Wala akong magawa. Na-realize kong these past few weeks, puro na lang ako OL. Hindi namana ko ganito kaadik noon. And I just realized that kaya lang ako nagoonline e dahil hinihintay or nagbabakasakali akong OL din siya. So pathetic. Ewan ko kung bakit. Pero sa twing nakikitang kong offline siya, nalulungkot ako, soooobra. :( Anyway, dapat magsasagala ako ngayon e since umulan tinamad na akong pumunta, sayang tuloy ang make-up ko. lol :))

Wala ako sa mood mag-update pero nag-uupdate pa rin ako. Ayoko nang umasang OL siya pero naka-OL pa rin ako at nagbabakasakali. Ayoko nang kumain ng chicken dahil sawa na ako pero yun pa rin ang kinakain ko. Ayoko na ng junkfoods pero araw-araw pa rin akong kumakain ng v-cut. IRONIC. Wtf.

Batangs :)

2007-05-28T21:30:00.000+08:00

Where: Lemmery, Batangas; Rockport Beach Resort

When: March 27, 2007

The gals: Kuya Obet, Kuya Jack, Kuya Del, Kuya Ramil, Ate Karen, Simon, Kate, Cess, Joyce, Jen, Nica and Onie.

Hosanna's outing yesterday was so much fun though my whole body aches like hell. Call time was around 4-4:30 am pero nakaalis kami ng 6. Haha. How's that? Filipino time talaga oh. Anyway, we arrived past 9, settled down, had some pics taken, changed clothes then ate our breakfast. Right after we rode a boat to go to the next island to go diving. It was my first time and I was freakin afraid. As if I know how to swim. Hehehe. I panicked when I hit the water even if I'm wearing a life vest. Haha. Everybody was laughing at me and I was turning red. Haha. So much for my dream. Anyway, I still got to see lots of fishes and it was so nice. Grabe. Sila kuya Obet ang layo ng narating, kami ni Cess near the boat lang. Hahaha. We decided to head back by 12:30. We ate lunch, had shower, some took a nap and some went kayaking. Ang saya! Hahaha. Kahit lagi kami bumubunggo ni Joyce. :)) Some of us (Ramil, kuya Delio and Onie) went snorkling again but its within the resort na lang. I, instead of basking in the sun, sat on a chair to unwind and listen to my ipod. Simon followed and sat beside me and we had the most serious conversation ever. It feels sooo damn good. :) Tapos naligo na rin ako kasi pictorial na after. Hahaha. I tell you, magsasawa kayo sa mga pictures namin. Total camwhores. ;)

Umalis kami 5:30 na and got home past 9pm. This has been the best outing so far. :)

P.S. Pictures soon to be uploaded.

2007-05-26T16:01:00.000+08:00

I watched Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End twice. The first day of showing (with Dwight Anderson) and the third day (with JR).

Captain Jack Sparrow and Will Turner will always be the hottest guys on the planet. <3

22

2007-05-22T11:17:00.000+08:00

I actually don't know how to start this entry. So many things happened last week and my mind is still in utter chaos. All I know is that I'm happy right now. I'm exactly where I want to be. Today is May 22, and today is our first monthsary. In the span of time we have shared together I think this would probably be the most important moment. A moment I would forever treasure. He made it so special and so perfect that I just couldn’t ask for more…I wanted to be with the person that takes all that away from me and shows me how beautiful life is… It’s so amazing too how life works and how God put people in your life. I mean I never imagined that my new friends would even bother helping me out with my issues and dilemmas. I just know that whatever I’m deprived of God makes up for it… and I’m thankful for that…My mom reacted the way I expected her to but then I didn’t even know I was grounded again for the second time and it was worst because I couldn’t use the phone and not even an internet access. I do understand it was my fault but sometimes in order for me to understand my mom, she has to understand me as well… just like how the telephone works… it works both ways… I feel so weak… I want to give up…I always tried to please my her… do everything for my her… offer everything for her but then she never noticed that. I’m not even being sensitive about it because I got so used to it that it feels numb already. All this time I have been doing things for my family but then do they care? I mean I think I should do it for myself now. Everything was for them but things I do would always go unnoticed… I would always be second best to my mom… I was never treated like I am the best for her or special for her… it never worked that way… I was just a kid she never wanted in the first place… Her kid that he can’t stand seeing… These past few years I have been trying to patch up my relationship with her but these past few years brought me nothing but pain. For the first time in my life I am giving up on my mom. I am accepting the fact that maybe that’s all she wants to be and all she could be. That I will and always be second best… I just hate how this affects me… I have always let it affect me and things I do. I mean I do feel numb most of the time and I just hate it when I cry and I feel alone… I don’t want to feel that way anymore… I don’t want him to make me feel that way…Over and over I have proven to myself I am my refuge… I am my home… I will always end up with myself…JR makes me happy… he takes all these pain and makes them smiles, laughter and happiness… He is as important as my best friend to me right now… I am scared of things not working out because I don’t want to be left alone again…. I don’t think I could take that very well…. I hate though of letting him go though but I don’t know if it’s the best for him… if its something I should do… for him… if I should instigate it…All I know right now is that I love him unconditionally and all that matters to me is making me happy… even if it means saying goodbye… letting him go…

your smile is like HEAVEN :)

2007-05-16T12:03:00.000+08:00

my dream guys :)

hell

2007-05-14T15:19:00.000+08:00

Yesterday was Mothers Day and I wasn't able to write some entry for my mom. I'm just kinda tamad right now to put up some entry about Mothers Day. Anyway, nothing special happened yesterday. Mom and I had lunch together and we went to her kumare, who also happens to be her best friend since elementary i think. I'll be staying at their house though, this coming wednesday for one whole week! Yesss! Finally, I'll be out of my freakin' lola's eyes. Lol. :)) I hate my lola. I hate my bro. I hate them down to my last breath. They're driving me crazy. I'm goin' nuts! Argh. I just don't get it why they always have to get in the way of my plans, like having sleepovers. They're making such a big fuss about what I'm wearing, say when i wear really short shorts and miniskirts. Living in my house is no different from living in HELL. Seriously. I just need to get outta here before I get burned. It does really suck. Rar.

Anyway, I finally told mom that I smoke. And well. she was cool with it.(at least that's what I think.) And I showed her my belly ring. Know what her reaction was?! "Ano ka adik??" My god. For her only addicts will actually have their navels pierced. Hahaha. Well, I like it anyway so no one's gonna stop me. No, not even you granny the devil! :))

Btw, I had fun last Saturday. Right after our mass, besh (Che-Che) and I went to MOA to get our caffeine fix at Starbucks. We ate first in KFC then headed to look for some stall where we can buy yosi but we were not able to find one so instead we went to Bluewave (walking) to get to Treats and buy my fave pack of West. :) Since going back to MOA will be a hassle, we decided to go to the nearest Starbucks branch we could find --- in Bluewave. AJ, my friend was supposed to meet us there. We were planning to go to Giligans and have some drink. We needed him to come so we can have a ride home but he's not feeling well, daw. I think we got home around11:30 pm 'cause god knows it was so hard to find cabs. Haha. Anyhow, 'twas such a good time.

I would also like to thank my soulmate, Chel, for this wonderful layout. This is awesome. Thank you soulmate. :)]

I gotta go. I'll update next time.:)

2007-05-12T14:09:00.000+08:00

BELATED HAPPY BIRTHDAY 22. I HEART YOU <3

2007-05-01T20:55:00.000+08:00

habang naglalakad sa kalye ng Dian..

ako: sigurado ka bang dito yung bibilhan mo? parang wala naman ata e.
siya: 'di e.
ako: 'di ka pala sigurado e.
siya: isa lang naman sigurado ko e. ang nararamdaman ko para sa'yo.

OMG. Natunaw ako 'dun. Shet.

sinong inuto mo?

2007-04-28T12:17:00.000+08:00

siya: i love you so much and i'll do anything everything just to prove to you how much you mean to me. if i have to kneel down, beg, i'll do it. i can even give my life to you if you'll just ask me to. thats how much i love you.
ako: ulol.

100 things

2007-04-24T14:14:00.000+08:00

1. Your most recent purchase?
a denim mini skirt from K2.

2. What kind of shopper are you?
i'm a bargain hunter. I love getting clothes and accessories at an incredibly low prices.

3. If you could blow 10,000 bucks in one store, that store would have to be:
zara :)

4. Your fave shopping buddy and why?
my good friend Marian 'cause she knows what looks good on other people.

5. The most stylish flick you've seen?
i like Anne Hathaway's sophisticated style in The Devil Wears Prada.

6. Your Hollywood style sister?
Rachel Bilson or Lindsay Lohan

7. What item can't you live without?
my phone

8. When you enter a store, what's the first thing you head for?
cute colors and funky designs catch my eyes.

9. Shopping essential?
i have to be in slippers and in shorts so it's easier to try on clothes.

10. What's the best thing about being young?
having fun and crazy moments with your friends.

11. What's one thing you have to try before growing up?
bungee jumping and surfing.

12. What do you love most about yourself?
i am capable of being independent.

13. What's your biggest dream?
to graduate with honors, have a good job and go to Korea to see and meet Kim Jeung Hoon. :)

14. What's the most grown-up thing you've ever done?
i guess admitting that i was wrong.

15. What's the best advice you've ever received?
if you want it bad, go for it!

16. If you had just p50 for a day, what would you spend it on?
definitely food.

17. What's the best thing about being a girl?
i love how girls can have many options when it comes to dressing up and we can even wear makeups which i super love!

18. What do you look forward to in the future?
achieving my goals.

19. What's your fave haunt?
the mall, coffee shops or just at home.

20. Do you have any pets at home?
we have a labrador named Bnachams.

21. What do you do in your spare time?
i sleep.

22. What kind of music do you enjoy listening to?
i enjoy all kinds of music --- rock, rap, alternative, pop, rnb, hip-hop.

23. What are your fave dishes?
sushi and kare-kare.

24. Your fave movies?
i have lots. from action flicks to tear-jerker movies down to comedies.

25. Your dream movie role?
Paul Walker's in 2Fast2Furious.

26. Your dream travel destination?
Paris and Korea.

27. Any Hollywood crush?
Paul Walker and Tobey Maguire.

28. What do you look for in a guy?
loyalty, sweetness and sincerity. i'm hooked on chinito guys!

29. Who was your first crush?
my escort back in third grade. his name's Christian Angelo and we used to call him CA. Everyone in the class had a crush on him.

30. What's your ideal date?
traveling with that special guy. :)

31. If you had an alias, what would it be?
supahjill

32. What are your cool summer snacks?
halo-halo and milkshakes.

33. If you could be someone else for a day, who would you be?
Prince William.

34. What are the three things you can't live without?
music, love, god!

35. What's your number one summer getaway?
the beach :)

36. What do you think makes you a rockin' chick?
my attitude. i'm a go-getter.

37. What do you love most about summer?
the fact that we can chill out and enjoy without worrying about school stuffs.

38. What's your comforst food?
chocolates, ice cream and pizza

39. What can we find in your bag?
hmm... i have my cell, lip gloss, mp4, wallet, cologne, face powder, cheek tint and some mints.

40. Fave beauty product?
Pond's detox cream

41. What's one thing you wish you knew in high school?
that there's more to life than high school. there's a wonderful world out there that can teach you something profound everyday more than any school or institution can.

42. What's one thing people would be suprised to know about you?
i'm not much to look at when eating. when i eat, i eat like a pig!

43. Who are you in five words?
bubbly, vain, sweet, friendly and thoughtful.

44. What did you want to be when you were little?
a stewardess 'cause i love traveling.

45. What would you be if you were... a piece of clothing... a jeans. they go with everything. a dessert... a cake. it's sweet like me. a lipstick shade... light pink. it looks natural.

46. Your fave time of the day?
10:30pm

47. How do you unwind after a busy day at school?
i hang out with friends.

48. What are your hobbies?
i love reading books, surfing the net, listening to music and watching DVDs.

49. What is the one thing you wish you knew about guys?
why do they always play mind games? tsss.

50. Who do you think is the hottest guy on the planet?
Kim Jeung Hoon.

51. What are your fave songs?
Waking Ashland's Let Go, Vertical Horizon's Echo, Switchfoot's Learning To Breathe, Nine Days' If I Am, Natalie's Goin' Crazy, Edaward Chun's Give My Love.

52. What are you currently listening to in your iPod?
Akon's Don't Matter, Shamrock's Hold On, Paris Hilton's Stars Are Blind, Ne-Yo's Something More To You, Avril's Keep Holding On, Crossfade's Falling Away.

53. Who's the celeb you want to be like?
Racjel BIlson. She's not letting Hollywood fame get in her head. She stays true and simple.

54. Your heart belongs to:
fashion, camwhoring and Kim Jeung Hoon.

55. Got a secret nick?
Chin Chan Su!

56. If you could wear one item of clothing everyday, what would it be?
boxers!

57. What would you do if you were a president for a day?
i'd give it up.

58. Anyone you're currently addicted to?
Kim Jeung Hoon :)

59. If your life were a movie, what would it's title be?
this is a story of a girl.

60. Who would play you?
Lindsay Lohan.

61. Complete this sentence: A beautiful woman is... intelligent because she knows her worth.

62. Your mom's greatest advice?
Do your best. And finish school.

63. Who'd you love to trade places with?
Paris Hilton!

64. Your first ever childhood dream?
to be a model and an actress.

65. What does I-R-I-S stand for?
irresistible, rational, intelligent and supergirl!

66. Your cheap thrill?
krispy kreme

67. What are your best assets?
my eyes.

68. The movie you would love to star in?
Azumi.

69. The character you would love to play?
Charlize Theron in Aeon Flux

70. What's your fave high school memory?
falling in love :)

71. Any bargain tip?
be practical and patient. buy only the things that you need and the one that looks good on you.

72. What's your bedside companion?
my music player.

73. Where do you go when you're shopping on a budget?
greenhills or ukay-ukay!

74. Your best bargain buy?
penshoppe lip gloss

75. Your bedside book?
Vince's life.

76. What's the song playing on your head?
Shamrock's Hold On.

77. Your fave scent?
D&G Light Blue.

78. Fave accessory?
earrings, bangles and necklaces.

79. Fave store?
Petit Monde, Lee, Penshoppe

80. What's the one beauty secret you swear by?
though it's not a secret anymore, still drinking a lot of water will do wonders for your body.

81. What's your fave pick-me-upper?
drinking hot chocolate with marshmallows with the lights turned off while listening to feel good music.

82. What's a beauty product you can't live without?
facial moisturizer.

83. What are your 3 travel must-haves?
music, camera and an adventurous spirit.

84. Complete this sentence: I want to be more confident and less insecure.

85. What's the most beautiful thing that has happened to you?
waking up every morning and realizing i have a lot to be thankful for.

86. What do you do during your "Me Time"?
i read books or watch the telly.

87. How can you make the world a more beautiful palce?
breed more compassionate people.

88. What's the biggest thing on your wish list now?
getting to travel and see the world.

89. Are you a clothes/shoe/bag/makeup addict? Where do you love to shop?
i'm a fashion addict! i love greenhills and ukay-ukay!

90. What's your fave girl-bonding activity?
camwhoring :)

91. What's one weird thing about you?
everything about me is weird.

92. Any fave line from a movie?
"If I can make you laugh, I will be with you forever."

93. What are you passioante about?
fashion, arts, photography and blogging.

94. What's your fave line from a song?
"If there is a mountain to move, i will move that mountain for you." -Monica

95. Who are your musical idols?
Switchfoot, Avril, MCR, New Radical, Death Cab for Cutie, Evanescence, Story of the Year, Yellowcard, Sugarcult, Fall Out Boy, Vertical Horizon, Lacuna Coil, Gregorian, Dashboard.

96. What do you do at the end of a really bad day?
i eat a lot of chocs and ice cream!

97. Your fave saying?
the only way to beat fear is to face it.

98. Fave local celeb?
Maja Salvador, KC Concepcion, Iya Villania.

99. Coolest thing you own?
original Loius Vuitton bag which my aunt bought during her recent Paris trip.

100. What's your end-the-summer-with-a-bang plan?
chill out in the beach! :)

oh life.

2007-04-23T15:19:00.000+08:00

Don't you just hate it when you're on a trip and to kill the boredom you turned on your iPod only to find out that the battery's empty? Don't you just hate it when you raise your hand in class and the teacher never calls on you but when you don't know the answer the teacher calls on you then? Don't you just hate it when you do your homework late at night and then figure out it isn't due 'til next week? Don't you just hate it when you wake up early and go to school only to find out that the first two classes were cancelled? Don't you just hate it when you realize you don't have enough money to buy the things you need when you're right there in front of the cashier and there's a long line behind you? Don't you just hate it when you're feeling your best and then suddenly someone says bad things about you that you just want to disappear right then and there? 'Cause I do.

I'm not in denial that I am a bitch. I am maarte. I just don't get it why there are people who will constantly bring you down, say bad things about you just to make your life miserable. And the worst thing is, that person is my friend. Aren't friends supposed to be the one who'll pull you up when you're down? The one who'll tell you you're still beautiful even when you're bloated? The one who'll give you a makeover just so you'll feel better? The one who'll bring out the best in you and not the other way around? I don't want a friend like that. All that person sees are my flaws. "Oh, you're flat-chested pala.", "di ka naman maganda e, chinita ka lang." It hurts when you hear comments like that. I'm not perfect. No one is. I know there are thousands infinitely more gorgeous girls than me. So what? Just because I drink and smoke doesn't mean I am a bad girl. Just because I have flings doesn't mean I am a whore (like Paris Hilton). Just because I am not mestiza doesn't mean I am not pretty. It's not my fault that was born with fair skin and chinita eyes.

I now realize that people around you can be mean when they're envious of you. They'll do everything, by any other means, just to make you feel terrible about yourself. I believe that beauty is NOT skin-deep. A simple, friendly and genuine personality is more beautiful than a perfect face. We are all beautiful. We just need someone to remind us everyday that we are wonderful. And I wouldn't get tired of telling the people around me that they are beautiful --- which is true anyway because I don't want them to feel bad about themselves.

And as Christina says, "I am beautiful no matter what they say. Words won't bring me down."♥

i'm in love!

2007-04-14T13:29:00.000+08:00

No one can make my heart melt like him. Such an angel. I am on an exceptional high. This is not an ectasy. It's LOVE. :)

alma mater

2007-04-12T15:00:00.000+08:00

Okay. So now I've got the time to update this messy, yucky and bulok blog. Hahaha. I was really pissed off yesterday when my friends and I went to Marya to get our yearbook and find out they stopped distributing them away because of some major booboos. Oh well. At para hindi naman masyadong masayang ang pagpunta namin, we (Kris Ann, Ana, Jermaine and I) decided to visit our old school and see if there are any changes. It's still the same old boring Marya i used to know. I'm not saying I hate my high school but I've got some really bad memories in it. If I can just ditch those, I will. But I can't. Let's just say that I've finally come to accept that it will forever be part of my past. And I can't erase it. NEVER. The best I can do is reminisce and think how much I've grown to be a stronger person that I am now (okay, this is my softie side talikgn again). Well, I still love my high school life. I've met lots of wonderful people with whom I've shared wonderful and crazy mem'ries with. They've been with me through thick and thin. And even if we're scattered all over the globe now, I know they're just one phone call away. :)

It was only now that I've realized I miss my high school. I miss having to wake up at 5:30 am and rush to school before 7 strikes. I miss bugging kuya janitor to turn on the air-con in the classroom because it's so mainit. I miss singing our school hymn every morning (hail st. mary's beloved st. mary's.. hehehe...). I miss cramming because a hw is supposed to be passed and I still don't have any. I miss copying my classmates assignments. I miss buying yema, kornik and bluse skies in the canteen and saving them for when class starts again and we can eat (secretly, of course!) during class hours. I miss sharing foods with my seatmates. I miss sitting on the floor and putting on makeup with Abby and Kham. I miss exchanging funny and sometimes heart warming kwentos with my friends. I miss goofing around with them. I miss my teachers. I miss my friends. I miss the atmospehere of the campus. At na-miss ko 'yung paglalakad namin ni Len nang paikot-ikot sa sa quadrangle. :)

So eto, ilang snaphots sa pagbabalik namin sa marya:

2007-04-04T16:15:00.000+08:00

~~I WaNT~~

~~ROmanCE~~

So NOT me. >_<

just because...

2007-04-01T16:57:00.000+08:00

Pagbigyan nyo na ko. Wala kasi akong magawa e. So there. I just uploaded some photos and i wanna share 'em wit 'ya! Hahaha. Wala nang aangal.

On my own

2007-03-31T16:47:00.000+08:00

When you've been attached for long and you suddenly find yourself single, there are things that will hit you hard.

Gone are the days when you automatically have a date. Someone picks you up, has lunch and watches a movie with you, someone takes you home and kisses you goodnight. Say goodbye to those days when someone listens to your heartaches and gives you a hug to make your pain go away. Or how about those times when you're feeling depressed, and by instinct, you reach for his hand because it boosts you confidence just to know he's walking with you? Time to give that up as well.

Then you will also miss his family because his folks and brother has been good to you. Lastly, there are his buddies who have been nice to you. You know they're going to hate you for hurting their friend. Suddenly it hits you. Breaking up with him also means probably losing friendships you've made along the way.

After months of this "almost perfect" life, I realized I might have a mental disorder because I let go of this "almost perfect" world. But who am I kidding? I know I'm no longer happy. Am I going to stay in the relationship just because I've been with him for so long?

No one understands why I gave him up because they've been spectators to my terrific relationship for such a long time. But I know in my heart that I have these doubts bottled up inside that no one else sees.

Though our relationship seemed flawless, there really is no perfect relationship. I cannot keep living up to other people's expectations. The very same people who put our relationship on a pedestal.

Nothing can replace the feeling of having someone who loves me no matter what. Who is ready to catch me when I'm being such a klutz. It's the best feeling in the world. But before I can give myself to someone, I have to know first what is out there for me.

One of the factors that mede me decide to leave this relationship is my dream of finding my niche, finding my own self --- the real me amidst the fake people in this artificial world. I want to experience the world on my own. I don't want to give up the opportunity to live my own life, experience things on my own and learn from my mistakes just because of one person. I'm young. I want to live life and go with the flow. I need to have that confidence to go on an adventure I can call my own. If not now, then when am I going to do this for myself?

I have to do something liberating. Give myself a break and enjoy my own company. At one point, I have to face my heartaches alone --- without expecting someone to hug me. And I also need to be known as me, not somebody else's girl.

At one point, I have to face the world, learn to hold my own hand and grow up.♥

2007-03-10T17:49:00.000+08:00

You danced with me in the moonlight

And I found my theme

Like roses bloom you inspire me

And the break of day fell upon me

And the light outshined

And you broke the spell that had kept me from loving you

2007-03-10T16:52:00.000+08:00

Sometimes, FATE has a cruel way of putting things together. Maybe it's better if people just give up when there's no point in fighting for something anymore. When the ship has finally sailed only a fool would go after it when it's already miles away. But sometimes, it's a lot better to be a fool to go after what we want and need, rather than to regret everything in the end 'cause we never even tried.

-----

Love flips all ones negative sides into positive. All wrongs into rights. You tend to just let things be even when you're doubtful. You give it a try without knowing where to end up. You may ask: "Will you still love me in the morning?" just to somehow lessen your agony and he or she may say: "Forever and ever babe." without thinking twice. But where will those words take you when one suddenly had a change of heart? What will happen to forever and ever when ones forever doesn't mean the two of you will still share life together? -CLICK

-----

Some people look for the perfect person to love. But they don't realize that a person becomes perfect when we begin to love them sincerely.

-----

Love comes without a warning. It passes without precautions. You'll never know when you'll get hurt. But do you know what's wonderful inspite of it all? It's the sleepless nights thinking of your someone. It's the magical feeling within, so hard to explain. Yes, indeed, it feels so good when you fall so deep... Sooo damn deep...

-----

Pagpasensyahan nyo na ako. Wala lang ako sa matinong pag-iisip. Lol. :D

kasi wala akong magawa...

2007-02-22T19:42:00.000+08:00

It's not what we hold in our hands that is ours. It is what is left when we open our hands and let go. -Neo, The Matrix

-----

1. How tall are you barefoot?
5'3

2. have you ever smoked heroin?
nooooo

3. Do you own a gun?
do i look like i own one? lol

4. Do you smoke?
not really

5. Do you get nervous before "meeting the parents"?
who wouldn't be?

6. What do you think of hotdogs?
*yum*

7. What's your favorite Christmas song?
too many

8. What do you prefer to drink in themorning?
coffee or mcdo's hot choco

9. Can you do push ups?
di masyado. lol

10. Is your bathroom clean?
okey lang naman

11. What's your favorite piece of jewelry?
necklaces and toe rings :)

12. Do you like painkillers?
yeeeeaaap!

13. What is your secret weapon to lure someone you like?
it's all in the game of seduction. lol

14. Do you hate any of your exs?
nooooo

15. Do you have a dog?
yup!

16. Middle name?
secret :P

17. Name 3 thoughts at this exact moment?
may pasok na naman ako bukas
tinatamad na ako
i miss soulmate

18. what's your normal bed time?
1am

19. Name 3 drinks you regularly drink
coffee, water, milk

20. What time did you wake up today?
8:30am

21. Current worry?
everything

23. Current hate?
our store m. grrrr

24. Favorite place to be?
my secret hideaway...

25. Least favorite place to be?
any crowded place.

27. Do you own slippers?
syempre...

28. What shirt are you wearing be specific?
i'm wearing a button down polo

29. Do you burn or tan?
neither

30. Favorite color(s)?
pink, sky blue, green, red, black and white

31. Would you be a pirate?
i'd love to! :)

32. Last time you kissed somebody?
a while ago.. :)

33. What songs do you sing in the shower?
whatever song that pops in my head

34. What did you fear was going to get you at night as a child?
mumus

35. What's in your pockets right now?
my phone and rosary

36. Last thing/person that made you laugh?
forgot ko na e...

37. Best bed sheets you had as a child?
those that had stars on them...

38. Worst injury you've ever had?
wala pa naman so far...

39. If you could cheat on your spouse, would you?
hell no!

40. Are your parents still together?
nope

41. Who is your loudest friend?
hmm... i think it would be Nhaedy

42. Who is your most silent friend?
Mary Anne!!!

43. Does someone hate you?
i think so... well, i don't give a damn!

44. Do you wish on shooting stars?
it may sound silly but i still do. ü

45. What is your favorite book?
novels by paulo Coelho

46. What is your favorite candy?
gummy worms, lollipops and cotton candy

47. What song do/did you want played at your wedding?
98 degrees' I Do

48. What song do you want played at your funeral?
bitch. lol

49. What were you doing 12 AM lastnight?
tulog na ako nun.

50. What was the first thing you thought of when you woke up?
who texted me kaya?

i want you to know that...

2007-02-21T19:28:00.000+08:00

I want you. I want to be with you. Need to say more?

you make me smile

2007-02-12T16:37:00.000+08:00

I love how you make me smile even if you do nothing. <3

somebody save me please

2007-02-11T15:50:00.000+08:00

While sitting alone at a party, I thought to myself... Why do people have to fall ni love just to fall out of it after? You love then you lose and you get hurt. Is it worth all the risks and the pains? I thinks so but i also think that it gets to you. I don't want to hurt anymore...

So I just wondered into the nothingness of my ideas...

Things can only get better... Oh... Me and my never-ending thoughts. :)

take me to paradise

2007-02-11T15:38:00.000+08:00

Do you happen to know where paradise is?

A place where I can wander and feel at peace...

Where I can be me and smile all day long...

Just listening to the wind, singing my songs...

Do you happen to know where paradise is?

Where I'll find serenity, it's where I'll find my blisss.

Where money is worthless and beauty is everywhere...

You'd definitely be in awe of it's grandeur; you would definitely just stare...

Show me where it is, show me all the ways.

It is where my heart needs to stay.

Is it only a dream making it an unreachable star?

I'll do anything to get there no matter how far...

:)

2007-02-11T14:48:00.001+08:00

I'm addicted to you. <3

2007-02-09T15:25:00.000+08:00

I'm totally in love. I swear. <3

baaaaack!

2007-02-02T16:39:00.000+08:00

I missed blogging to the nth power. OMG. And so many things have been happening to me lately. But I'm too tamad to make kwento e... >_< Maybe next time. I miss my CEU friends especially Iris, my twin. :) I wanna see her na... :(

-----

I'm in a dilemma...

Dilemma...

Dilemma...

HELP.

:(

convo wit crae-yons :P

2007-01-18T17:17:00.000+08:00

eto pa...

she's in love?

:)

i want a guy who will sweep me off my feet

2007-01-08T17:18:00.000+08:00

[edit]

Loving is a lot like watching a twenty minutes fireworks display.

Exciting.

Emotional.

Romantic.

Sweet.

Memorable.

But it also ends as dramatic as it began. It fades slowly into thin air and as much as you wanted to keep watching there's nothing to make it stay. In the end, all that's left is a starless night and the fact that in this life good things never seem to last. :(

-----

[/edit]

to you POSER

2007-01-08T16:57:00.000+08:00

If you're mad at me because of the comment I made on your photos, I don't give a damn. YOU are the poser, not ME. Stop using my pictures and Kimberley's pics and copying her profile. So pathetic. You dumb ass mother fuckin' bitch! *evil laugh*

P.S. Stop sending my friends messages and and telling them I'm using pictures and claiming them as my own. I wouldn't be wasting my time to people who will only piss me off. C'mon, get a life! :))

Happy 2007!

2007-01-08T16:25:00.000+08:00

A new year means new beginning for me. A time to change the bad girl in me. A time to become a better person. This new year is extra special to me. You know why? Because I spent it with Rain's family and relatives. There were foods and fireworks and everything is just so festive. I love how they made me feel like I'm part of the family. And I just hope that 2007 will be a fairly good year for me and my loved ones.

There's always something exciting about a brand new year. While everyone else is fussing about how this year will going to be, I get myself pre-occupied with my wishlist for this year. And some resolutions to come with it. (I hope I can keep it this time!)

So here are the things that I am looking forward to this year.

♥I'm looking forward to balancing work and love.
I've started working in Chowking Libertad last Dec. 29. That means I'm gonna be extra busy. But I promised Rain that I will still find time for us to go out and talk. I think that's one thing you should assure your loved ones when you're becoming too busy. TIME. Because when you're becoming too occupied with stuffs you get to neglect other timportant things and persons that need attention.

♥I'm looking forward to going to Bora again this year.
It has been years since I last set foot on Bora so it will be a great and refreshing change after all the pressure and stress I've gone through since last year. Bora, here I come!

♥I'm looking forward to my new school, course and blockmates.
I'm nothing but excited to go to school again. I so can't wait to meet new friends and this time, study something that I am really passionate about. :)

♥I'm looking forward to becoming a better person.
And I mean it.

While here are my resolutions or the things I must accomplish this year.

♥Try to study even harder.
♥Learn how to save.
♥Gain some weight.
♥Get in touch with my high school barkada.
♥Hit the sack early.
♥Exercise.
♥Be nice to everyone.

And for my wishlist:

♥Happiness deep down inside.
♥Serenity at every sunrise.
♥Success in every facet of my my life.
♥Family beside me.
♥Caring friends around me.
♥A love that never ends.
♥Good health within me.
♥Beautiful mem'ries of yesteryears
♥A bright today with so much to be thankful for.
♥A pathway leading to better tomorrows.
♥Dreams that manage to come true.
♥And a great appreciation for whatever I do.

Have a hot, sizzlin', chilin', rockin' and of course candy-coated year ahead buds!

:)

2006-12-26T16:13:00.001+08:00

"That's how people go on forever, you know? Because someone takes them along."

" A love so real even after your dead, it hurts. That's all I want. "

" This is your life right now, it doesn't wait for you to get back on your feet."

mac is a must-love :)

2006-12-24T12:46:00.000+08:00

look...

2006-12-24T12:41:00.000+08:00

...isn't it pretty? Thank you, pare. :)

happy holidays! :)

2006-12-24T10:52:00.000+08:00

One day to go before the big birthday bash! Yey!! I'm so excited not only because I'll be receiving lots of gifts and talk about the good 'ol yummy foods but because tomorrow is Jesus' birthday and I have more than enough reasons to celebrate and be happy.

I'm not spending my Christmas buying gifts for everyone, though. Not because I'm on a tight budget but because I've finally come to realize that when you give gifts, even small little things to people you don't even know (especially the needy), it's twice the happiness you feel when you see the smile on the faces of your loved ones after they opened your gift. I'm not saying that I'm not going to give gifts to my family and friends. I will. But this time, I'll be giving gifts to poor children. And not just any gift. Things that are precious to me since my childhood days.

Since I was a kid, I have collected more than a hundred teddy bears and hello kitty stuff. They mean the world to me because whenever I look at them, I instantly take trips down to memory lane and remember how happy and carefree I was when I was a child. It's not an easy thing to do. To give the things you love to kids you don't even know. But I know they need those toys more. They lack so many things that I have and I can't bear to see them suffer while I am havin' so much fun. It isn't their fault that they are poor. I want them to experience the same happiness I feel. I want them to feel that someone out there cares for them. I want them to know that this life has so much beauty. I want them to realize that there are so many good things that this life has to offer. And lastly, I want them to know that God will ALWAYS BE THERE.

Before i gave them all away to Maaga Ang Pasko sa Jollibee, I took first a picture of them as a remembrance of my beautiful childhood days.

I know they need these toys more than I do. And now, I've got a hundred reasons to be merry this season! Merry Christmas everyone!!! :)

simple satisfaction

2006-12-22T17:09:00.000+08:00

If all I did everyday was look at the things I wanted, I would never be grateful for the things I have. So I decided to help brighten my current predicament by writing down at least three things that cost little to nothing but still put a smile on my face.

1. Book sales
cost:P25-150

The great thing about books is that unless you are an obsessive-compulsive, the impact they give never depends on how old they are. Some of the best books I've collected have come from book sales. I love the sweet, musty smell of the brown paper and the satisfaction I get out of reading stories so enlightening for so little money. Whenever a book sale comes a round, I buy at leat 3-5 books from authors both heard and unheard of and just joyfully attack them like a carnivore who was finally given meat after months of vegan.

2.Predicures
cost: P50

If you nhave never spent on a simple pedicure, I know you will thank me, or at least your feet will, for posting this entry. There is nothing like clean toes smiling back at you. Especially in our tropical archipelago where slippers are the footwear of choice. I use toe rings on a daily basis so pedicures sans nail polish is just the pass to my walking a little lighter.

3. Dirty ice cream or taho
cost: P10

A samll cone of dirty ice cream (with ube, cheese and chocolate of course!) is just enough to satisfy countless carvings at once. And the crunchy sugar cone is a pinoy classic, I personally prefer it to Haagen Dazs' gargantuan waffle of a cone. The area I live is far from cries of taho vendors or mamang sorbeteros so I always look forward to trips out of town where I can have two large glasses of this syrupy, soya cocktail for breakfast.

Okay, those are my three simple pleasures for the week. What are yours? :)

Priorities

2006-12-16T17:30:00.000+08:00

The bad blogger in me has come out again. But please, don't think taht because no "real" posts have sprung from my head I have left everyone high and dry.

Here are a few random excerpts from my life:

I have come to accept that no matter how much I beg for a breather, it's not going to come.

If my head is pounding from a headache and I just want to lie down on my t-shirt sheets with Poochie's warm lil body cuddled beside me, it does not mean the rest of the world will stop calling the cellphone-of-torture or that people will stop looking for me. I've finally accepted fully that my being busy is a good sign. It is something my pals and I bulit out of a simple dream and made concrete and touchable. It is a challenge we overcame and still fight on a daily basis. We have plans... Big plans.

It is an amazing feeling.

You can't give parts of yourself to other people (whether in work, love or any aspect of your life) if you, yourself are not complete. It is a simple rule that only a few people decide to follow.

I've decided to consider lunches or time spent with girlfriends, family or quiet time alone as a necessity. Just as important as work. So I inked these events in my organizer and enjoy them fully. They save my sanity and serve as my whip cream of the day.

I enjoy having long lunches with girlfriends I haven't seen in months and catching up on recent developments in our lives across a plate of pizza, I enjoy laughing 'till tears start to come out of my eyes, reading a really good book Ican't put down right before bed or baking a batch of chocolate chip cookies (like I know how to).

Sober, intoxicated or just plain bored. Singing has always been an outlet for me. I promised myself that before 2007 ends I will enroll in a singing lesson. I want to be able to take something I love and do something grand just for the fun of it.

I'm not a perfect person with a perfect life. No one is. But I am a young person. With a lot of drive, passion, desire for growth and change. That should serve as enough of an edge for a fantastic year. :)

a shot of me enjoying the sun. Taken by Sacha babe :-)

Song Playin': Nina's I Don't Wanna Be Your Friend

camwhores :P

2006-12-15T18:30:00.000+08:00

Rain, minutes before going to Pangasinan.

Inside the bus..

My in-laws :)

Our Lady Of Manaoag.

Our Lady Of Manaoag again..

Rain's 'rents inside the church

Outside the church

kiss-y :) :)

he loves moi...

my hubby and i..

mwaaahhh!! :-*

baby hug!

lomo illness

2006-12-07T17:12:00.000+08:00

I made this one 'cause I was bored. I think it's pretty nice =)

This is a letter Sam made for me. It looks really cool, don't you think? :P

Ang kalat ng stuffs namin no? Heehee.. :)

so the loooooooong line to donut heaven!

so I made a note...

read this...

About ten people wanted to... But we're shy... Lol!

Having lunch at Ino's place. Wala ako sa pic! :D

L-O-V-E <3

havin' fun at Sacha's place

happee birthday Sacha, dear! :)

mi cuarto again... It doesn't look like me. Bakit kaya?

Btw, I uploaded the pics from Mik's debut last October. You may want to check it out. Just search for the entry "Upadate". :D

P.S. All pics taken by my lomo cam.

stop and smell the flowers

2006-12-07T15:00:00.000+08:00

mi cuarto

I am officially addicted.

Whether it's seeing a friend in a whole new night, Capturing the look of contentment on the face of a fat sleeping puppy, or seeing the colors of the sky more vivid that I could ever remember. The lomo bug has bit me badly. And I can't seem to stop.

In a day and age where speed and instant gratification are as common as eating and sleeping, getting into lomography has taught me that some of the better things in life are worth the wait. From using real film all over again, having to wind my camera once I'm done, and twindling my fingers in anticipation hoping that my shots will look just the way I envisioned them to when they get back from the hands of my trusty developer, lomo-love has found it's way into my heart.

I remember telling my friends the other week how sad I felt that in the last few years of shooting hundreds of pictures to capture various events in my life, I have no "real" albums to show to them.

The albums that used to line my shelf for my friends to grab so they could merrily take trips down to memory lane, stopped around 3 years ago. From then, all photos are held in a fragile state of limbo by a tempermental hard drive that can choose to lose them any day now. It's a sad state.

Having a lomo camera is old-fashoined fun. Similar to the feeling you get after receving a real hand-written letter from a good 'ol friend from another country (something my friend Marian still does, she's cool like that), brewing your own coffee from scratch or taking the time to make kick-ass scrap book :)

Sometimes when life just passes by so quickly, it never hurts to invest in a few things that will remind you to stop, breathe and appreciate the scenery. I think I'm going to start taking the scenic route more often.

:)

Now Playing: Jessica Simpson's A Public Affair

life of a model

2006-12-03T15:23:00.000+08:00

The other day I was having eggplant and cheese sandwich with some friends at Figaro when some people we knew walked in. Without a hi or hello, the first thing an acquiantance said when she saw me took a bite of my sandwich was "So are you going to throw that up after?" Nothing but the look of disbelief on my face (not to mention that my pal Amanda looked like she was going to spit her food at her for being such an ass), he quickly replied with it being meant as a joke towards models in general. My question is: Why such bad rep for models?

I'm sure everyone has heard the stories of easy money, major fasting before shows, sharp back stabbing behind the catwalk and models know nothing in their heads but how to properly put on eyeshadow. I think these are unfair generalizations and I'd like to point out some of the myths.

1. Modeling is just a simple way to make big bucks.
This is partially true. When you nab a big campaign two days of work can actually give you a seven-digit salary. But how often do you think that happens? For over 25 castings, go sees, vtr's and trips to places unknown to metroplis, you are considered lucky to even get one job. Getting a big job is like winning the lottery --- you just happened to be at the right casting for the right kind of look. It doesn't happen often enough and the amount of try-outs that models have to go through are enough to say that it's well-earned to finally get a big gig.

my friend Samantha on a shoot for Monaco.

2. Models are stuck-up and egotistical.
This is farthest from the truth. Every model I've come across is easy to talk to and more than willing to help you out when you don't have a clue about the formulas for a show. Models are used to meeting new faces on a regular basis and are prepared to help newcomers and start the small talk. Models aren't egotistical, they simply have to show confidence because in this industry, it is crucial. Picture this, you have 30 minutes to get ready for a show, the stylist has just given you the outfits you are supposed to wear, you begin to squeeze into a rather tight looking pair of jeans and... gasp! They don't fit! You meekly come up to the stylist and ask if there is a bigger size. Instead of helping you out, he begins to shout at you in front of all the other models, dressers and designers (who have now focused all the attention to the scene in front of them) that he only gets "model sizes" and if you cannot fit into that pair it means you are fat and have no right to be a model. You now have been used as a public example of a model who doesn't deserve to be one. I have seen situations like this happen right in front of my eyes over three times and I am telling you right now, if you don't have your own confidence or your own self-worth, YOU WON'T LAST.

my friend-slash-kababata Jane strutting her stuff for CCC.

3. Models are stupid.
What if I tell you I know models who are physicists, psychologists and even med students? Everyone gets into this industry for their own reasons --- to make money for their family/schooling, to be popular, to have pretty pictures for their kids to see. I could go on and on. The same way models are there for different reasons, there are different levels of intelligence in the industry. C'mon, let's be honest: You don't need to know calculus to be a model but like what my best-est pal said you have to have the biggest heart and one of the bravest spirits.

Having a break at Macky's party-slash-fashion show of Superfly.

And no, I didn't throw up my food after I ate. :)

all i want for christmas...

2006-12-01T13:49:00.000+08:00

As soon as i woke up, I stared hard at the calendar and mumbled to myself, "December na pala."I still can't believe how time treks SO FAST. I went downstairs, and as I stepped out the door (thank God the rain stooped) I breathed heavily and inhaled the fresh and soothing wind of December.

Christmas carols at night.

Christmas trees and lanterns that light up the entire town.

The smell of oh-so-yummy puto bumbong and bibingka during Simbang Gabi.

Busy shoppers rushing about in the streets.

Gift-givings and Christmas parties.

Noche Buena *yum*

These are just some of the things that puts me in the mood for Christmas. This is the holiday that I have been anticipating every year. And I am so in the mood to do some shopping for mah best-est pals. I'm dying to get a hold of Cinnamons. Smells so christmas-y! :)

I would also love to receive gifts (of course, who doesn't?!). So I made a list of the things that I want to HAVE this Christmas. I called it my "All I Want For Christmas Wish List." Mind if I share 'em wit 'ya?

1. Ipod Video (o kahit ipod nano na lang, hahaha!)

2. Apple ibook. I'm sooo dying to have 'em!

3. Carebears (blue or green pwede na!)

4. Samsung D900 (I want to change my beat-up cellphone this coming holiday)

5. Chuck Taylors, the one with heels.

6. Hello Kitty wallet from Gift Gate. Naiingit kasi ako sa suede wallet ng besh ko. :(

7. A whole collection of Paulo Coelho's novels.

8. Belly button ring in time for next year's Bora. (sana!)

9. A pair of cute bikini or tankini from Naf Naf or Nothing But Water. Color blue or green or pink dapat ah!

10. A DVD of Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory. Mas maganda kasi 'yung 70s version e.

11. P20, 000 worth of gift certificate to L'oreal, Mango, Zara or Penshoppe.

12. A biiiig teddy bear from Bear Cuddler. Complete set. 'Yung may damit na extra ha. Hahaha!

13. Tifanny necklace. (o siya, sige, kahit anong necklace na lang)

14. Vintage-esque maletas from Casa Amarillo.

15. A new pair of stilettos.

16. Palm Z22. Kailangan ko nang ayusin ang buhay ko e.

17. A pretty pair of flats.

18. Evanescence's The Open Door

19. Puto bumbong. Maraming marami!

20. Caroling. Oh yeah!

21. Name necklace and chokers. "jill" 'yung nakalagay ah.

22. Cookies and crinkles to satisfy my sweeth tooth.

23. Partyin' in Embassy. I wanna go back!!!

24. High School Musical Soundtrack. I still can't get enough of Zac Efron :) :)

25. Pretty pretty pretty skirt!

26. Lee Stafford Poker Staright Shampoo and Conditioner. My waves are coming back! Oh no!!

27. Keychain na star.

28. Never Let Me Go novel by Kazuo Ishiguro. Hanapin niyo 'yan please!

29. P1, ooo worth of gift certificate to Dashing Diva. Kung gusto niyong dagdagan, pwede rin!

30. Havaianas!!!

31. Less traffic.

32. Peace of mind ('san ba nabibili 'yan?!)

33. LOVE. <3

There you go. The last one though, is the best gift I want to receive this holiday season. Believe it or not. Still NOTHING BEATS LOVE. <3 I think I'll go check this list next Christmas and see how far these "wants" came true. May one year pa naman ulit kayo para bigyan ako nyan! Wahaha! :)) :))

ako'y nagbabalik

2006-11-29T10:52:00.000+08:00

I haven't been blogging for a while 'cause I have been damn busy (yeah). So i wrote down all the things that took place those past few days. Here we go... *drum roll*

Nov. 19, Sunday
Pacman vs. El Terrible

I woke up 9:30 to get all the chores done in time for Pacman's match today with Morales. I have been anticipating it 'cause I swear I am a fan of Manny :) I was expecting a LOT. I thought it will be a good match. Wrong. All it took was just three rounds and Manny won. I haven't even had my adrenaline rush satisfied. Nakakabitin talaga. I was so happy for Pacman ('cause I was rooting for him, obviously) . But a part of me wanted Morales to win. Naaawa kasi ako. If he didn't force himself to crash diet it would've been a better match, I think. Kaya nanood na lang ako ng Knockout dahil hindi ako nakuntento sa bakbakan. Bear with me, sometimes or most of the time I just loooove testosterone movies. ", Congrats, Manny!

Nov. 22, Wednesday
'Wag Kang Lilingon!

I was really looking forward to watching Happy Feet. But heck, I suddenly remembered that my SM complimentary pass in not valid on the first day of showing and TODAY is the first day of showing of Happy Feet. Baaad. So Rain and I ended up watching 'Wag Kang Lilingon. It was supposed to be a date with Jermaine and Rain but Maine doesn't like horror movies so I ended up going to the movies with Rain lang. Next time na lang daw kami date ni Maine. :) Maganda pala 'yung 'Wag kang Lilingon. Nakakagulat! And I love the twist of the story. It sured scared the hell out of me. Matatakutin pa naman ako. Thanks honey ko for the date. =)

Nov. 23, Thursday
you complete me

"Gusto kitang yakapin nang mahigpit para maparamdam ko sa'yo kung gano ka kahalaga at gano kita kamahal."

Who wouldn't melt in that? Awww... :)

Nov. 24, Friday

7pm I fetched my besh Che-Che 'cause we're going to Star City. But goodness knows it was sooooo boring! Ang konti kasi ng rides e. Imagine, we rode zyklon loop 5 times, flying carpet 2 times and surf dance 3 times. Panget. Btw, I saw Sheila Mae Ugawa pala. Kinalabit niya ako and she said "hi". Went home around 12am na and had an inuman session on our living room couches with my oh-so-loving bro. It's 3:30 am na pala, i'm gettin' sleepy. Gotta go! Have a good night [morning?] everyone! Zzzzzz.....

Nov. 25, Saturday

This is definitely the highlight of my entire week. Bonding with Rain's family. Rain texted me asking if I want to go out today with his mom, dad and bro. 'Course I said yes! By 12pm we were on our way to SM Megamall. Had lunch at Kenny Rogers, went to Timezone and had a great time, went to the movies to watch Fragile (didn't like it!), had dinner at Sizzling Plate, went to Timezone again 'tas uwi na. Ansaya ko! :) :)

Nov. 27, Monday
i'm a fan

I don't watch much of Pinoy reality TV shows. Dunno why. I'm just not fond of it. But recently, I catched a glimpse of Pinoy Dream Academy and got interested in it. Soon i was hooked and found myself in front of the boob tube every night. And I admit I've got my own favorites too.

I'm crushing BIGTIME on Ronnie Liang. Tall, handsome, moreno, chinito. Perfect, I must say. No wonder a lot of girls go gaga over him. He's got the good looks and the talent. He's really a crowd favorite. Now, honestly I don't think Ronnie will make it as the grand winner. I'm not underestrimating his talent but I think Panky Trinidad will bag the title. People tend to misunderstand her and call her names. She can be so insensitive to other's feelings (more often to Rosita's). I hope the fans of Panky won't take it personally on me. Hey, I'm just voicing out my opinion. Anyway, let's get to another scholar who caught my eye. Irish Tomas may seem like a bitch and a brat girl-next-door but she is no such thing. In fact, I think she is one of the most promising scholar in the academy. Her go-getter and "palaban" attitude is a big must-have as she conquers every trial that comes her way. She is a loving daughter, a friend and has a big heart. Need to say more?

As the remaining scholars (Rosita, Ronnie, Jay-R, Chad, Yvan, Yeng, Panky and Emman) pave their way towards their goal, I hope they keep their feet firmly on the ground. The whole world is watching as each of them struggles to achieve their dreams and become better persons. We'll be seeing more of them for sure.

yeng

ronnie

eman

chad

panky

jay-r

rosita

irish

yvan

i do believe in you

2006-11-18T10:55:00.000+08:00

"Every once in a while, people step up, they rise above themselves. Sometimes they surprise you and sometimes they fall short. Life is funny sometimes, it can push pretty hard but if you look close enough, you find help in the words of children, in the bars of a song and in the eyes of the one you love and if you're the luckiest person in this entire planet, the person you love decides to love you back." -Nathan Scott, One Tree Hill

-----

Caroling is fast approaching and I STILL CAN'T get the notes right. Goddamn it! Rar.

maybe i'm a fool

2006-11-11T16:14:00.000+08:00

Hardest things in love:

1. Flashing your smile to someone you don't want to see.
2. Bringing back the feeling you've learned to forget.
3. Showing that you care.
4. Finding a way to mend a broken heart.
5. Learning that you've been used by someone you truly love.
6. Saying "i love you" when you mean it and when you don't.
7. Letting go of a person you've just learned to love.
8. Realizing that you love somebody you've just taken for granted.
9. Realizing that you love the person you've just broken up with.
10. Waiting for promises you know he or she'll never keep.
11. Saying your love for someone who loves somebody else.
12. Reminscing the good times you shared together.
13. Shielding your heart to love somebody.
14. Trying to hide what you really feel.
15. Having a commitment with someone that you know would not last.
16. Trying to hide the tears that involuntarily fall from your eyes.
17. Sharing the one you love with someone else.
18. Loving a person too much.
19. Giving up someone you never thought of giving up.
20. Falling in love for the first time.
21. Loving someone you haven't seen.
22. Having the right love at the wrong time.
23. Exerting effort to make the relationship alst or work.
24. Not being appreciated when you know you've given your best.
25. Taking the risk to fall in love again.
26. Hiding your relationship from someone else.
27. Controlling your feelings to avoid hurting a friend.
28. Choosing between two persons whom you really love.
29. Finding out that you can never have the person you just let go of back.
30. Seeing the person you love with someone else.
31. Learning that the person who claimed to have loved you so much never really cared.
32. seeing the one you love fall for someone else.
33. Falling for your best friend and knowing that things can never be the same again.
34. Learning to trust after you have been burned.
35. Accepting that it was not meant to be.
36. Smiling when all you want to do is cry.
37. Falling and knowing that it can never be.
38. Not being able to love the person who truly cares for you.
39. Saying that you can never love a person the way he loves you.
40. Hearing that he can never love you the way that you love him.
41. Being friends again and learning to let go of each other 'coz you both know it is better that way.
42. Convincing oneself that you are not in love when you know that you are.
43. Saying that you are over someone you still love.
44. Having to let go because you know that he/she deserves someone else.
45. Trying not to remember how perfect everything used to be.

Alin dyan ang naranasan mo na? Diyos ko, kalokang ma-in love.

-----

I am currently reading If LOVE is a GAME, THESE are the RULES by Cherie Carter-Scott. Basahin mo, marami kang matututunan. Promise!

-----

Sa'yo, kung nadamay ka man sa init ng ulo ko kahapon, pasensya na. Bati na tayo, please?

Btw im grounded, AGAIN it SUCKS mom!! Grounding me doesnt make me better. Rar. I've been grounded like 139028624923512978541035798123567123650813265 times. The reasons? Well i was a bad girl:

*got home around 1am drunk, normal school day..
*going home late
*my mom found 2 cans of san mig light in my bag
*cutted class*

That was before!!! I'm a good girl now! :)

i do have faith that things will be different

2006-11-10T12:12:00.000+08:00

If a child lives with criticism
He learns to condemn.
If he lives with pity
He learns to be sorry for himself.
If he lives with ridicule
He learns to be shy.
If he lives with shame
He learns to be ashamed of himself.

How very well said. Sadly though, such is the story of my life. Ever since I was a kid I was always the OC (outcast) one. I grew up learning to be ashamed of myself. Thinking that I am not capable of anything. I tried erasing those moments in my life when I felt really down by those people who should be taking care of me, encouraging me and loving me. And just recently, AGAIN, I found myself wallowing in pity, suddenly being so quiet and sulking myself in a deep reverie. I was never the talkative person when I'm at home. In fact, I prefer to stay in my own little world, where I can be myself and not have anyone tell me what I should do but this time, this kind of silence is defeaning. Somehow I wish I live a different life. I always go against the norm and I'm somewhat a rebel. But why blame me? This is ME and this is how I will be. Is it really that hard accepting me and my beliefs? Goddamn it! I dodn't want to believe that life sucks but it's giving me every reason to hate it. But then again, I still DO have faith that someday things will be different.

update!

2006-11-03T17:01:00.000+08:00

Ilang araw rin akong nawala. Kaya heto, isang mabilis na update lang.

Oct. 26
Nag-away na naman kami. At nakipag-cool off ako. =/ But now we're back together. 'Ganon lang kadali 'yun para sa'min. Hee hee!

Oct. 27
I miss my bonding girls soooo much! Tinext ako ni Jermaine dahil dadaan daw sila ni Marian sa bahay para kunin na ni Marian ang inaamag niyang slippers sa akin. Sabay niyaya nila akong mag-MOA kasama si Monique at Mei. At since medyo broken hearted ako, ayown e 'di sama para makalimot. Kaysa naman magmukmok 'di ba? Nilibre kami ni Marian sa Chef 'd Angelo. Charap!! Kaya mahal kita Marian e, binubusog mo ako. Wahahaha! Pero seryoso, na-miss ko talaga sila lahat ng chubra!

Oct. 28
Red carpet party ni Mik sa Dasma! Motif: Movie characters. I looove my Charlie's Angels costume a la Cameron Diaz.. =) And everyone told me i look superb! It's an overnight party kaya right after that, pool party time!!! Hangkyuuuut ng two piece bikini ko. <3>

Alam nyo ba...

Nakakapraning sa bahay? Isang malaking PAKSYET!

Nagawa ko ang isang bagay na 'di ko akalaing magagawa ko?

Nalaman kong tatanggapin ako ng ga kaibigan ko kahit ano pang magawa ko?

Inaaway na naman nila 'ko?

Pinaglalawayan ko na ang Flushed Away?

'Masaya ako dahil sa wakas my love life na ang kaibigan ko? Way to go!

I'll update this some other time. Babush. :)

Song Playin': Bone Thugs n Harmony's Resurrection

salamat :)

2006-10-19T15:58:00.000+08:00

...dahil dumating ka sa buhay ko.

...dahil sa'yo nagkaroon ulit ng kulay ang mundo ko.

...dahil natuto ulit ako magmahal.

...dahil tinanggap mo ako.

...dahil nagtiyaga ka sa ugali ko.

...dahil lagi mo akong pinapangiti.

...dahil hindi mo ako iniwan.

...dahil minahal mo ako.

...dahil sa'yo naniwala ulit ako sa pag-ibig.

Maraming salamat sa'yo.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY BHEBHE KO!!!

Mahal na mahal kita.

Touch and Go

There truly comes a time in a person's life where you realize that life is indeed just touch and go. We try to look back at the things that happened in our past and reminisce the intircate web of relationships we've had with people. Then in the middle of daydreaming, we would stop and ask ourselves, "Where are they now?". It's funny when you think about it , that at one point in your life you have been really close with a person you always thought you knew very well inside and out. And the next thing you know, you don't even have the slightest clue on what's going on with that person anymore. Or if they even think of you still. Funny, yes. Funny but... sad at the same time.

It's a fact that no man is an island. People are social beings and they need to interact with others in order to survive. I am a person; therefore I am a social being... And actually a good one at that. I used to be a social butterfly. I loved being with people. I loved making friends. I loved getting into different sorts of relationships, touching lives and being touched by them in the process. Yes, I was socially inclined... and I still am. But now, just in a downgraded fashion. I suddenly found myself turning down invitations to gimmicks or parties. I guess as time passes by, it seems to get harder and harder to involve yourself with just anybody, may it be a new acquaintance, a new friend or a new love interest. I guess experience teaches you that. But some people just never learn.

Well, I learned my lesson.

I started learning at the tender age of five. While most kids my age don't even care about anything else but playtime, that young I was forced to grow up immaturely. Learning the painful way that not all people are to be trusted. They may seem good to you and you may think they know better, but I realized that that doesn't really matter because when you know better, consequently, you know worse. And people can take advantage of the better to do the worse. With that known, I never trusted anybody, so much that when I interact with others, I always have my guard up. Thinking at the back of my head that they always have a hidden agenda in mind.

True enough, I guess people always have hidden agendas when dealing with others. Maybe they just don't realize it, or maybe they just do it subconsciously. And I admit I am like that too. But as grew, I learned that not all these hidden agendas are bad. They can work to your benefit and that usually happens both ways. That's how relationships should work, right? Sadly though, they almost always never work that way. And if that's not bad enough, they end up in a mess.

Yes, the end is always inevitable. That's also one thing I learned, and I'm pretty sure everyone knows this too. Yet, we still continue to start new relationships that we know will have their finales one way or another. It's one of those never-ending cycles of life that we have to learn how to deal with. Like I said, people are social beings. Relationships are essential to one's survival.

So how does one deal with the end of a relationship, you ask? It's quite simple actually. You just have to go on living your life like you've always had before you entered it. But in reality, it's always easier said than done.

Once I was in this relationship, thinking that if i knew what's gonna happen, I'd already know what to do. So when the time for closure comes, it will be a lot easier to deal with because I am prepared. Well, it ended all right, as expected. But what I didn't expect was what happened in between and the sadness that comes after it. And don't forget the memories. Those damn beautiful memories, so overwhelming it haunted me every second of every day. For a while taht is. After some time, I guess you could say I was back to normal. But for me, everything else became different then.

My friends seems to think that I always get myself into ungodly situations that most people in their right minds would actually tend to avoid. But you see, I'm not your typical kind of person. But like all the others who have survived the end of a relationship, I too have moved on. Right now, I am in this so-called relationship, which is yet again one of those kinds that people would never understand nor make sense of.

They say time heals all wounds. I say that's nothing but hypocrital bullshit that we just say to ourselves to create this illusion that we've moved on with out lives and that we're better off now than before. But if you think about it, when you remember old times, it brings back the pain and sadness that you once had. Especially to those people who like to cling to their past. Then comes the "what-ifs" and "what-could've-beens" which makes you hope that you can bring back the past or makes you wish that you shouldn't have let it happen in the first place. Oh yes, those fucking regrets. Now, that's adding salt to the wound. It is for this reason that people are afraid to enter into relationships again. For the most part, it is because it is something that they're always afraid to lose. I should know 'cause I was that kind of person. I am such a sentimental fool.

Time heals all wounds. I used to believe in that too but as I continue learning, I finally believed otherwise. Time can only make you wiser, not to mention older. It's like the scab that protects the wound as it heals. But once scratched off, the wound bleeds again and cut grows even deeper. If anything I believe, it is LOVE. Yes love, not time which heals all wounds. If you believe you have the capacity to love again (and I'm not just speaking of romantic love), that's the only time you'll know you're completely healed. When you learn the value of true love, you will never be afraid to touch more lives and you can go on living amidst the scars that you've gotten from your past.

I guess I still am a sentimental fool after all...

i'm baaack!

2006-10-15T15:29:00.000+08:00

It's been weeks since I last wrote here. Goodness, I've been busy as a bee I barely had time to sleep. Thank God, it's sem break already. And I guess, I'll have a longer sem break than everyone else. Why? 'Cause I finally decided to stop this coming 2nd sem. Lemme tell you the stoy.

We (Rain and I) went to PNU last Wednesday for some inquiries of my plan to transfer there for this sem. You could just imagine my face when they told me that I have to start from scratch and that they're not accepting transferees for the second semester. Diyos kooo! Nakakaasar! When I got home, I brought the topic up with my mom and in the end, I still chose to stop because I really want to take up Psychology and I want to pursue that career in PNU. So what choice do I have, right? Seven long months of bein' stuck at home with nothing to do, bored and... Sometimes life can be really unfair. But like what Soulmate said, "It's part of growing up and taking risks. At least alam mo na 'yung gusto mo."

So much for that.

Rain and I watched Pulse at SM Manila right after goin' to PNU. Not that scary but I like it. Well, a bit. Heehee...

I watched an episode of Pedro Penduko last week and I got hooked! Kaya ayun, nanood ulit ako kagabi. I find the adventures very entertaining mainly because I used to watch this kind of show when I was a lil kid. It brings out the kiddy in me. Plus Matt Evans (I dig his afro hair !), that's more than enough.

And oh, by the way, I'm lovin' the new close up commercial and the song. Wala lang. It puts me in the mood for Christmas. Hehehe.

Oo nga pala, last Oct. 06, during our monthsary, the supposedly "fashion show" for Soc. Arts was postponed. Sayang our hair, makeups and gowns. But we still had a great time!

it gets me frustrated

2006-10-03T19:14:00.000+08:00

My life recently had been one exhausting rollercoaster ride.

Tomorrow is the start of the finals examination for Physical Science Laboratory and still I'm not in the mood to study. I don't know why. I just don't feel like it. Hehehe. I need to have my hair rebonded before the fashion show thingy this coming Friday. I want to look pretty. Absolutely pretty since it's our first monthsary too. I'm getting way too excited. Silly. :P We don't have electricity connection up to NOW. Goodness. Blame MERALCO. Kill 'em! FUCK.

In a few days, first semester will end. That means three weeks of vacation, enrollment for the second semester, meeting new blockmates (at least for me), not being able to see and be with Rain everyday, getting used to long rides going to school and going home, getting used to the new environment and the new sea of faces I'll be encountering. What am I talking about?

It saddens me 'cause I'll be transferring to another school this second semester. Yes, you read right. I'm not an Escolarian anymore. I'll be studying in Philippine Normal University to take up BS Psychology. It's not an easy decision though. I spent sleepless nights thinking about it. I considered all things before making this decision. To others, this may sound petty but to me, it's a big choice and risk too for I don't want to ruin my entire future. I thought of Rain too. The thought of me going to another school scares him. I'll be meeting new sets of people and he's afraid I might ditch him when I find someone better. God knows how much I love him. But what can I do? I'm no longer happy in the course I'm taking up. Honestly, I've realized just now that I don't see myself as a Med Tech someday. Too risky job for me. And I hope this time, it's the right choice for this is the course I'm interested in. I have to be happy in what I'm doing or else...

I've got only a few more days to enjoy the company of my blockmates and savor the zest of life, together with them. I surely will miss them. *sniff* Might as well make the most out of the days left for us.

walang kwenta ang entry na ito.

2006-10-02T13:30:00.000+08:00

Limang araw nang walang kuryente sa lugar namin. Punyetang Milenyo 'yan. Nagtitiis kami ng init, walang tubig, walang telepono at cellphone. Wala rin pasok ng tatlong araw. Wala tuloy akong BAON. BAON. Nakakainis! At ang tanging dahilan kung bakit ako nakakapag-update ng aking blog ay dahil nasa computer shop ako malapit sa school. Actually, may klase ako sa English ngayon pero tinatamad ako pumasok dahil ang boring ng prof. ko. Isa pa, may isang bagay na pilit gumugulo sa matahimik at maayos kong buhay. Kung ano ang bagay na iyon, ayoko munang sabihin. Basta naguguluhan ako. Pilit akong binabagabag ng BAGAY na iyon. Kung ano man IYON. Bakit ba pakiramdam ko nagkamali ako sa pagpili? Hindi ko alam ang dapat gawin. Natatakot akong gumawa ng isang hakbang dahil baka magkamali na naman ako. At sa pagkakataong ito, hindi na ako pwede pumalpak dahil tiyak, wala akong patutunguhan. Diyos kooooooo. Bakiiiiiit???? Ano ba naman 'yan. Napakatanga ko talaga kung minsan (lagi, I mean).

------

Monthsary na namin sa Biyernes at wala pa akong maisip na regalo. Tulooooong!

------

Nga pala, nakita ko si Cheatmate Kham sa G4 cinemas nung Sat. Kasama ko si Rain na nanood ng Step Up at nasa harap ko si Cheatmate. Na-mish kita ng chubraaaa Cheatmate!!! Dami mong utang na kwento. Tsss.

-----

Channing Tatum is sooooo DAMN HOOOOT! Hihihi! :P

Kelan ba magkakaroon ng kuryente samin??? Watdapak.

Walang kwenta ang entry na ito. Wala. Katulad ng nagsulat.

nursing a broken heart

2006-09-24T11:13:00.000+08:00

"There are a few things in life worse than a single girl with a broken heart."

Why, you ask? A single girl with a broken heart is like a car spinning out of control, she has lost her footing in a world that once seemed safe and familiar and no longer knows what to do or where to go. The betrayal, pain and loss from someone you believed in... Someone you loved is enough to send anyone down a ravine, but to a girl: life as she used to know it... Just doesn't exist.

I might not currently have a broken heart (note: Rain and I are in good terms), but I have had my fair share of this misfortune that seems to befall almost anybody who has given love a chance. I have had friends do the craziest things because a broken heart is just too unbearable to deal with.

One of my best friends spent a semester's worth of tuition money on crazy drinking parties and gifts for any acquaintance who would stay with her just so she could intoxicate her mind enough that her boyfriend of almost 3 years left her on valentine's day for a friend. Another best friend, who I feel is one of the strongest women I know, was curled up in the middle of a resto/bar with tears running down her eyes, begging me to let her call the guy she just ended up with (for good reason too), another of my favorite babe's spent all the money she made from their business to split for a 4 month hiatus across South America to places where the face of her boyfriend of 4 years would never haunt her. I have had a best friend find me pouring tears in to my plate of kare-kare and bagoong with no words to describe the weight and pressure on my chest--- not to mention that I began to look like a "concentration-camp victim" because unhappiness and an appetite doesn't go together in my vocabulary.

Yes, a single woman with a broken heart is painful, wrong, and should not be felt by anyone. And yet, almost every woman I know has gone through it at least once. To those of you who have never been through this, I hope you never do. To those who are going through this now or know someone who is, here are some advices that helped me (and it might help you too).

1. To finally end the pain, you have to go through it.
Cry, kick, scream, be angry, be sad--- just don't suppress it. Talk to good and close friends, break bottles, write it out somewhere. If you admit to yourself that you are allowed to feel pain, it won't be as bad as trying to keep it inside.

2. Getting over someone is like a shoreline over a typhoon.
Just like a beach after a storm, the tide will constantly be bringing in debris for the next few months or more. You might feel fine for a whole week and then a wave of debris comes pouring in and you feel the pain all over again. Believe me when I say: the debris will get less and less as time goes on, till the waves will bring in nothing but perfectly clean white sand. Accept it and it will be easier to deal with.

3. If it's really over, cut it clean.
One of the hardest things about ending a relationship is losing the routine (seeing each other everyday, long phone calls at night, fixed movie partners, etc.). Many times we really just miss the constant companionship more than the actual love. People try to justify being friends with their "exes" during this crucial time when the heart is raw and emotions are still stinging your cheek because changing a person's routine is harder than it seems. Cutting all ties and communication might seem like the most difficult thing to do but it will actually be what will save your dignity (not to mention sanity) in the long run.

4. Avoid spinning out of control.
Yes, you've lost your center of gravity. Yes, it stings. It kills. You want it GONE! But the worts thing you can do to yourself is go crazy and try to be numb. Have wild drinking sprees, sleep with men whose middle names you don't even know, spend all your money, yada yada yada. Once you have regained your footing and you're completely over the relationship you will regret doing all those stupid stunts and wish you could crawl into a shell that will take you back in time. I've seen it a few times, and it's not pretty. Find a stable, smart and honest friend who you can lean on and help you go through the pain rather than take you on to parties to forget it.

5. Trust me when I say: IT WON'T LAST.
My friends will probably put their two cents worth at the end of this entry and I'd like to ask them to give a few words of encouragement. I don't exactly know why this is a topic I felt like tackling on this bright Sunday morning, but maybe it is in the hope that my experiences and those of the people I love will help others see that pain is part of growing up and life has a way of shutting doors so that better ones will open. =)

Song Playin': Faye Wong's Eyes On Me

hindi ka ba napapagod?

2006-09-19T18:08:00.000+08:00

We got into a huge but petty fight again yesterday. And I was just so maaaad at him! When we're having fights, it's like the whole block knows about it. But still. the day ended with both of us saying sorry to each other for being so insensitive and for letting our prides get in the way. I love you so much Rain... And I will never leave you... :-)

-----

What a girl wants, but what most guys don't give:

Leave her cute text messages.
Kiss her in front of your friends.
Trust her over someone else.
Tell her she looks beautiful.
Look her in the eye when you talk to her.
Tell her stupid jokes to make her laugh.
Let her mess with your hair.
Mess with her hair.
Just walk around with her.
Include her in most things you do.
When she cries, do whatever to make her smile.
Forgive her for her mistakes.
Look at her like she's the only girl you see.
Tickle her even if she says stop.
Hold her hand even when you're around your friends.
When she starts swearing at you tell her you love her.
Let her fall asleep in your arms.
Get her mad, and then kiss her.
Tease her and let her tease you back.
Stay up with her all night when she's sick.
Watch her favorite movie.
KISS HER FOREHEAD.
Give her the world.
WRITE HER LETTERS.
Let her wear your clothes.
When she's sad, hang out with her.
Let her know she is important.
Let her take all the photos of you whenever she wants.
Kiss her in the rain.
And when you fall ni love with her, tell her.
And when you do tell her, love her like you never loved before.

-----

Song Playin': Apo Hiking Society's Nakapagtataka

don't let me down

2006-09-17T13:51:00.000+08:00

I haven't updated my blog for a few days. It's been hell. I got tons of paperworks to do (not to mention those bullshit long quizzes they give everyday). A few more weeks to go and finals will soon arrive. Brain torture! Brain torture!

Anyway, I'm craving for coffee. I'm a certified coffee junkie and my friends can attest to that. But...

I hate how coffee turns into an addiction and how it keeps you up all night. How it burns and makes your heart beat fast. Especially how it makes you crave for its rich and sweet promises of grains, milk and sugar. Moments later, it puts you into a melancholic mood of coldness, before you realize, it consumed you before you should've consumed it. Empty. Hollow. Bitter. Then again, you crave for another cup.

Just like love.

-----

Gusto ko manood ng First Day High at Step Up. Samahan niyo ko, please? ;)

Song Playin': Gregorian's Hurt

i'm getting addicted

2006-09-09T18:33:00.000+08:00

Please tell me your for real
Because I don't want to bleed no more
As the night fades away
I'm dreaming of you
Please tell me you feel something
Because what I feel is ecstacy
Oh shame on you
You cast your spell on me

La da da da
The stars align for you and I tonight
La da da da
I need you in my life
La da da da
The stars align for you and I tonight
La da da da
I'll take that as a sign

I'm so unprepared
But you don't seem to care
I'm hardly a man
But here I am
I'm not sure what you see 'cause what I am is disaster
Spring you came so early
Shine down on me

So hold on to me
(caught up in the moment)
Because I don't want to lose you
(people think I'm crazy)
I don't want to become a memory
(ring around the roses she has me blushing)

So hold on to me
You're a million miles away
But I am still the same as yesterday

I need you
I miss you

I'm getting addicted to that song. I keep playing it over and over again. Thanks to Crae's blog. =)

2006-09-08T20:58:00.000+08:00

YM convo yan with my munchkins. Haaay. So happy for glam rock. We're soooo in love! ü

Song Playin': Jennifer Paige's Stranded

hope this time it'll not hurt

2006-09-07T17:45:00.000+08:00

Hindi ko alam. Basta MASAYA ako. MASAYANG-MASAYA ako. 'Wag mo ako iiwan bhe, ha? Mahal na mahal kita. :-)

you are the one... kornee daw?! :P

2006-09-04T11:43:00.000+08:00

Saturday, Sept. 2

"I don't have a heart that can love, Sally!" -Will

Wala lang. That line from You Are The One strucked me. Ang ganda nung movie e. Kornee na kung kornee. Baduy na kung baduy. Pake ko?! Maganda e. Nakakaiyak pa. Shit! Ang mushy ko! (Is this me? Is this really me?!) Then we headed to the AC openhouse with Achie, Len, Chad and Karl. Mojofly is the best lalo si Lougee, and Rivermaya too! AyLabRicoBlanco!!!

-----

Yesterday we watched Sophocle's Oedipus the King in the Manila Film Center. The play was good. Better than what I expected. AJ Dee played the role of Oedipus who killed his father and married his mother without knowing it. And Amy Perez played as his mother. Such good actors and actresses. I'm looking forward to watching another play like that.

-----

Dear heart,
I met a boy yesterday. Prepare to shatter.

LSS: Joe's Another Used To Be

sa wakas tapos na rin!

2006-09-01T12:01:00.000+08:00

Midterm is finally over! Yehey!!! *clap* Last Wednesday I met up with soulmate again sa G4 and bonding ulit kami. We watched Stay Alive 'cos soulmate needed a good scare para makalimot sa mga bumabagabag sa kanya kahit sandali. At pagkatapos namin manood ayaw ko na ulit maglaro ng mga PS games. =/

-----

Happee 16th Birthday Crae!!! :)

-----

I received an sms from Jermaine just now.

Today, before you think of saying any unkind word, think of someone who can't speak. Before you complain about the food you eat, think of someone who has nothing to. Before you complain about life, think of someone who went too early to heaven. And when you're tired and complaining about your job, think of the unmeployed, the disabled and those who wished they had your job. And when depressing thoughts seem to get you down, put a smile on your face and thank GOD you're alive and still around! Life's a gift. Live it!

Song Playin': Panic At The Disco's I Write Sins Not Tragedies

umeepal na naman ako...

2006-08-29T09:10:00.000+08:00

Whew, I can't believe it's midterms already! Duguan na naman ng utak itech! Nooooo!!!! Oh well. Anyhoo, I'm at the computer shop near the campus with Nico playing the Flyff. Haynakuuu... Boys will ALWAYS be boys.

I'm missing a loooot of people from high school... =(

babolsh and mami pash

kuya ron-ron

lolo rj

ate maan

anakis kat

destiny, dude, pare, tol

mama ems

anakis bie

sis lexi

seatmate kim

sisturr sasa

bebesh

sis verna

ate nine

kakosa and kuya pau

sistar

cheatmate

kapwa ko corny

bhebhe

hunnie bear

jebz

soulmate

mutya

mallows ko

guru crae

ate ko

...missing them kills me...

-----

High school survey

1.section mo nung 4th yr?
*St. Teresa of Avila

2.adviser?
*Ms. Margarita Galang

3.anong club mo NUNG 4TH yr?
*Marian math Circle, Marian Student Volunteer

4.anong pinaka-ayaw mong subject?
*Wala. Lahat gusto ko.

pinakaayaw na teacher?
*Wala rin kasi lahat lab ko.

5. axan yung 5?
*?

6.anong student # mo?
*96-0339

7.class#?
*17

8.pinakahuling ginawa mong katarantaduhan
*uhm... pingalitan ako ng sobra ni Margarita dahil...

9.eh nagbisyo sa cr?
*nako, second classroom namin nila Verna at VM yun! Hahaha.

10.naghihilamos ka ba sa cr?
*yucky the water dun. Wahehehe.

11.anong paborito mong off limits area?
*wala naman.

12.nung 4th yr ka, maganda ba ung grad song nyo?
*oo naman. da best!

13.may nakaaway ka na rin ba?
*meron naman.

14.sino?
*chiklet!

15.nagvandal ka na ba? ano ung ginawa mo?
*hindi pa. baaad yun e.

16.ilang taon kang nag-aral ng HS?
*por

17.sa canteen ka ba naglulunch or sa classroom?
*sa room kasi bantay ako pag lunch ng gate e.

18.kung naaalala mo tlga ang hs days mo, an0
*huwatt??

19.hows the prom?
*we're promless. Hahaha.

20.name of a freshman u n ur classmates initiated
*wala pong initiation sa amin.

21.what do u do after school?
*tambay, minsan gumagawa ng thesis.

22.ever cried in front of the class?
*yup yup!

23.d0 u bring ur cellphone at skool?
*nope, bawal e.

24.do u log in on friendster when ure inside the computer lab?
*banned and friendster sa lab namin.

25.ang mga experiment papers mo bah eh binili mo o hiningi mo sa kaklase:
*binibigay samin ni sr. Ipe yun.

26.cn0 plaging ngdadala ng food sa classrumnyo?
*halos lahat. Madalas kami nila Ely, Jebz at Eileen.

27.an0 an0 nman ang dnadala nila?
*lahat ng pwedeng dalhin na chibog!

28.ever caught by ur teacher eating?
*oo, hiningi pa nga ni sr. Bohol yung brownies e. Nyahaha!

29.knino ka humihiram ng notes?
*kay Mei o kay Mama Eunice

30.eh calcu?
*may sarili akong calcu no!

31.nangopya ka ba nung NSAT/NCEE exam?
*wala kaming ganun. Tinanggal na.

32.officer ka ba sa CAT?
*tinanggal na rin yun

33.Late ka ba lagi?
*close to being one. Tee hee. :P

34.Magkano baon mo nun?
*p80

-----

I was about to go to sleep last night when I recieved an sms from Cis, at bago ako matulog ay napangiti niya ko :)

22:03pm
Hallmark card you can send to your ex (for the bitter ones):

FRONT OF CARD: As the days go by, I think of how lucky I am...
INSIDE: That your not here to ruin it for me!

FRONT OF CARD: I've always wanted to have someone to have and hold, someone to love
INSIDE: Adter having met you, I changed my mind.

FRONT OF CARD: I must admit you brought religion in my life...
INSIDE: I never believed in hell 'til I met you!

FRONT OF CARD: Lookin' back over the years that we've been together, I can't help wondering...
INSIDE: What the hell was I thinking?

Ayos!

Song Playin': Yellowcard's Twentythree

laboooo

2006-08-27T10:13:00.000+08:00

He loves me but my past is holding him back. I'm confused. TOTALLY confused. Can someone teach me an easy way to get through this?

-----

meet my gelplens!

my cotton candy

my lalabs

my jelly ace

my munchkins

my marshmallows

my eminems

And they make college life worth living! Labshs you guys!!!

Song Playin': Avril Lavigne's Tomorrow

boredom =s

2006-08-22T10:57:00.000+08:00

Sometimes you have to put walls up around you not to keep people out but to see who cares enough to break them down just to be with YOU.

-----

Last advice. There are certain people that are perfect or close to perfection. Some are real while some are sweet, some are true and some are cute, but we do not need to settle with those people kasi no matter how perfect a person may be, all you need is just someone who is not perfect but RIGHT! -Dwight

Lakas mo talaga, pader! Tinamaan ako dun. WAHAHA.

-----

I'm not a good lover. I mess up. I start fights. I get jealous easily. I am demanding. And I get mad always. But there are three things I do like about myself. I don't play, I give my all and I love deeply...

-----

Wala akong mgawa. Mamayang 1 pa kasi klase ko e. 5 hours break. Kamusta naman 'yun? Linchak! Dana called me up. Asan daw ako, hinahanap din daw ako ni eks. Wahaha! I rule!!! :-)

-----

hindi kita iiwan. promise yan.

2006-08-19T17:21:00.000+08:00

Whew! Just got home from CEU Mendiola. Nakakapagod. Urgh. Woke up at around 6:30 to meet with Glamorous Rockers in the lobby then we headed straight to CEU Mendiola riding a cab. 'Di ko tuloy naumpisahan 'yung game ni kuya Matt. Amp! And wtf, sabay ang game ni Misa and Duario so we decided to support Duario in Mr. CEU. Pero chineer naman kita kuya Matt e. ;) Wooo!!! Dwight is one of the finalists! Way to go pader! :)

-----

I bought burned cds at 3 for P100. Mura no? Hehehe.

-----

Your Love Element Is Metal

In love, you inspire and respect your partner.For you, love is all about fusing together for one incredible life experience.
You attract others with wit and a bit of flash.Your flirting style is defined by making others want and value you.
Greatness and optimism are the cornerstones of your love life.You may let go too easily, but you never get weighed down by your past.
You connect best with: Earth
Avoid: Fire
You and another Metal element: will control and smother each other

Your Birth Month is July

Introspective and intense, you tend to be a deep thinker.You are quiet and spiritual - and you have a unique perspective on life.
Your soul reflects: Lightness, luck and an open heart
Your gemstone: Ruby
Your flower: Larkspur
Your colors: Green and red

You Have Low Self Esteem 40% of the Time

Generally, you feel pretty darn great about who you are, even when you mess up or fail.Occasionally, a huge setback will make you question yourself, but you pick yourself up quickly.

How You Are In Love

You fall in love quickly and easily. And very often.
You give and take equally in relationships.
You tend to get very attached when you're with someone. You want to see your love all the time.
You love your partner unconditionally and don't try to make them change.
You are fickle and tend to fall out of love easily. You bounce from romance to romance.

Your Candy Heart Says "Hug Me"

A total sweetheart, you always have a lot of love to give out.Your heart is open to where ever love takes you!
Your ideal Valentine's Day date: a surprise romantic evening that you've planned out
Your flirting style: lots of listening and talking
What turns you off: fighting and conflict
Why you're hot: you're fearless about falling in love

-----

Kasi namaaaaan! Kung manghusga KAYO ng tao akala NIYO e napakalinis niyo. 'Wag ganon. Kapaaaal e.

Song Playin': Frankie J's How To Deal

sabi ko naman sa'yo mahal kita e.

2006-08-18T12:00:00.000+08:00

How can I hold on if there's nothing to hold on to anymore?

-----

Nahulog ako mula sa bubong nung isang araw at hanggang ngayon masakit ang buong katawan ko.

-----

Ayoko umiyak, uupakan ako ni Paulo e. E takteng 'yan, ikaw ang nagpaiyak sakin Paulo e! Tae ka. Hahaha. Pero salamat ha, nabawasan ang bigat.

Song Playin': Vertical Horizon's Best I Ever Had

lilipas rin 'to. sana.

2006-08-14T18:13:00.000+08:00

How to get over him/her:

1) Cut off all communication: that means don't talk to them; delete/erase phone numbers, e-mail addresses, IM addresses, etc.; don't look upprofiles or seek them out in any way, shape or fashion. This will keep you from that urge to contact them.

2) Get rid of any gifts, notes, letters, etc. that are sentimental to you: don't give them back to your ex. Give them away to Goodwill, whatever. Do not keep them.

3) Hang out with friends.

4) Don't jump into another relationship. This is unfair to a new partner if you are not over your ex.

5) Do something active: run, exercise, go see a movie, go shopping, etc.

6) Try to think about all the things you did NOT like about your partner. People break up for a reason.

7) Write your thoughts down in a journal or write a letter to your ex about how you feel about everything... DO NOT give it to them.

8) Remember to not be afraid to be alone. It's not the end of the world and you will always find someone else down the road. It is OK to be alone.

9) Do not try and be friends with your ex UNLESS you can get over them. Once you are over them, then you can think about being friends with them. If you are not over them and you continue with contacting them, you will not be able to get over them especially when they are dating someone new.

10) Do not wallow in alcohol. It will only make you feel worse.

11) It takes time...

-----

Nako-konpyus ako sa maraming bagay. Hindi ko maintindihan. Ano bang meron? Bakit biglang naging ganito ka sakin? Paliwanag mo naman. Naguguluhan talaga ako e.

-----

Malapit nang dumating ang araw na kinatatakutan ko. Malalaman ko na ang sagot niya. Pero bakit ko pa ba kailangan marinig iyon mula sa kanya kung alam ko na naman sa sarili ko kung ano ang sasabihin niya? Self-torture. Potang 'yan.

-----

Last night's text convo with soulmate.

Ako: Ayokong matulog. Baka bangungutin ako't 'di na ako magising. Sino pwedeng sumama sakin?
Soulmate: San tayo pupunta?
Ako: Kahit saan. Doon sa walang makakakita.
Soulmate: May alam akong lugar. 'Di ka nila makikita. Alam mo kung saan? Dito, sa tabi ko. Tra dito. Sandal ka. Ako muna ang bahala sa'yo.

Napakaswerte ko. May soulmate akong gaya niya.

-----

Song Playin': After Forever's Monolith Of Doubt

how does these lines appeal to you?

2006-08-13T20:00:00.000+08:00

She kept her beauty concealed behind a curtain of suspense
And endures her fate, moulded by an ancient culture

The honour wasn't allowed to be injured
She is going to live as her community expects her to
I find myself confined between furtive desires and feelings of guilt

These are my last words
I'm gonna leave you
I can't stand your narrow mindedness any longer
Forgive me...

-----

Sometimes I give in to sadness
Sometimes I don't
At times I'm part of the madness
Sometimes I won't give into you
You see the way I have been drifting down a river to nowhere
And you give me nothing

But if you're ready to be my everything
If you're ready to see it through this time
And if you're ready for love then
This I will bring
But I'm not gonna wait for you forever
This time

At times I feel myself smiling
At times I'm not
Whats with that guilt that you're styling
Baby talk
It don't look good on you
You see the way that I have been looking for a reason to go there
And you leadin' me nowhere

-----

Because maybe
You're gonna be the one that saves me
And after all
You're my wonderwall

-----

There's a piece of you that's here with me
It's everywhere I go, it's everything I see
When I sleep, I dream and it gets me by
I can make believe that you're here tonight
That you're here tonight

-----

Sana maging okay na ang soulmate ko. ;'(

i'll be okay soon

2006-08-09T18:59:00.000+08:00

Mga pangyayari sa BSMT 1A ngayong araw na ito:

*may bago na kaming presidente sa block, si Santos.
*bago na rin ang aming ingat yaman, si Tenorio.
*nag-open forum kami sa block.
*si Chengtot napaupo nung Filipino.
*tawanan ever with the tropaz.
*napagalitan si Iris ni Valeriano dahil dinadaldal ko siya ('di ba dapat ako ang pagalitan?).
*nabuang si Chengtot epekto ng pagkaupo niya sa sahig.
*si Dana nakisama sa topak ni Chengtot.
*si Shaine sumasayaw sa labas ng photocopying station at nakakatawa siya.
*nabuang ako, nakakahawa si Cheng!!!
*gusto ni Lovely maging kabayo. Bwahaha!
*si Iris at Tin muntik mabangga ng tren kanina. sayang! Hahaha. Mahal ko kayo, pare!

-----

Nakita ko si Red!!! At kinausap niya ko!!! =)

-----

May chapter test na naman sa Botany Lecture bukas. Waaaaaa. Pota.

-----

Song Playin': Fefe Dobson's Everything

he left me hanging here... and i let go.

2006-08-08T19:07:00.000+08:00

-----

Midterms is fast approaching. We've only got two weeks to tackle all the lessons we need to discuss. Urk. I expected this. When I entered college, I was aware of the things and changes I will encounter. I thought it'll be easier but what the heck, it's tougher! We're loaded with so much work to do. I can't barely sleep. Getting at least 4 hours of sleep is already a luxury. I'm super busy that I find it hard to hang out with my highschool friends and gahd, I miss them bigtime! But I never thought that I would enjoy college more than I enjoyed highschool. The freedom, new friends, greater and tougher challenges ahead, responsibilities and parties. Ahhh... I never experienced these things back in highschool. I love my new found friends. They make each day bright and sunny as ever and they give me lots of reasons to be raring to got to school everyday even if we have tons of paperworks to do. And red too! :P loooooove red!!

But still I miss everything from highschool... Aquinians, Avilanians, mallows, Faith, Maod, Nicko, Nicola, Lil, Amz, Alexa, Janine, Kat, Norie, Micco, Jhelver, Margarita (mamita), Sr. Ipe, Dhaddy Mhon, Ms. Portia, Ms. Gelito, Sr. Bohol (yep, true!) and a lot more.

-----

FIRST name?
*Iris

FIRST letter ng name ng crush mo?
*D... =)

FIRST thing na ginawa mo nang magising?
*nagbasa sa History

FIRST thing na inisip mo nang magising?
*may quiz pala sa Histo ngayon...

FIRST na tao na inisip mo pagkagising?
*si red...

FIRST na sinabi mo nang magising ka?
*anong oras na?

FIRST song na narinig mo ng magising ka?
*I'll never get over you (getting over me)

FIRST na hinawakan mo nang magising ka?
*cellphone

Ilang taon ka nang magkaroon ng first crush?
*9, hehe

FIRST real love mo?
*nung senior ako...

FIRST thing na tinitingnan mo sa guy/girl?
*face

FIRST thing na hinahanap mo sa guy/girl?
*basta... alam ko na yun!

FIRST thing na nagustuhan mo sa mahal mo?
*wala nga e... wala akong mahal... hehehe

FIRST thing na nakakaturn-off para sayo sa guy/girl?
*when he/she smokes.

FIRST thing na gusto mo sa isang tao?
*friendliness

FIRST thing na ayaw mo sa isang tao?
*mayabang

FIRST thing na gusto mo sa sarili mo?
*maganda ako... bwahahaha!

FIRST thing na ayaw mo sa sarili mo?
*i'm stupid.

FIRST time na nakausap mo crush mo?
*June pa ata yun...

FIRST kiss?
*wala... hahaha!

the LAST movie you watched?
*Just My Luck

the LAST tv show you watched?
*strawberry shortcake... hehehe!

the LAST song you heard?
*don't cha

the LAST thing you bought?
*marshmallows... love it!

the LAST perfume you bought?
*wala...

the LAST food you ate?
* Mcdo's fries

LAST thing you wore?
*my school uniform

LAST thought on your head?
*what time is it?

LAST time you went out?
*kanina lang

LAST text message to your bf/gf:
*na-miss lang kita...

LAST thing you said to yourself:
*mag-aral ka na, ineng!

LAST person who texted you:
*Conde...

LAST person na nakaaway mo:
*wala...

LAST time you saw your bestfriend:
*graduation pa...

LAST thing you drank:
*Mcdo's hot choco

LAST alcoholic beverage you had:
*san mig light

LAST thing you'll do before sleeping tonight:
*pray...

-----

Sometimes I feel like I'm totally over him, but something tells me that I'm still not.

I hate this... I hate this... I hate this...

...this STUPID feeling.

Song Playin': Utada Hikaru's Final Distance

i know deep inside that i'm still not...

2006-08-06T10:12:00.000+08:00

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Last Friday, I wento to Glorietta to meet up with Chel. Date kami ever. Kwentuhan, chikahan and bonding. Ang sarap ng feeling na mailabas mo ang lahat ng nararamdaman mo and someone's there to listen. Sooooobrang na-miss ko ko si Soulmate. Siya lang ang soulmate ko na nakakaintindi ng lahat at nagpaparamdam na basta masaya ka, sige lang but at the same time siya rin ang isa sa mga nagsasabi sakin kapag sobra na ang ginagawa ko. Kaya mahal kita Soulmate e. Lagi lang rin ako makikinig sa'yo, kahit ano pa 'yan. Date again... Hehehe =)

-----

During the Botany Lab yesterday Zyron sat beside me and sang the song "Pwede Ba?". He knows it's my fave song kaya he and Nico used to do a duet of it and sing the song for me. At tuwing naririnig ko iyon, hindi ko mapigilang hindi malungkot.

2006-08-03T16:28:00.000+08:00

Go placidly amid the noise and haste, and remember what peace there may be in silence. As far as possible without surrender be on good terms with all persons. Speak your truth quietly and clearly; and listen to others, even the dull and the ignorant; they too have their story. Avoid loud and aggressive persons, they are vexations to the spirit. If you compare yourself with others, you may become vain and bitter; for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself. Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans. Keep interested in your own career, however humble; it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time. Exercise caution in your business affairs; for the world is full of trickery. But let this not blind you to what virtue there is; many persons strive for high ideals; and everywhere life is full of heroism. Be yourself. Especially, do not feign affection. Neither be cynical about love; for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment it is as perennial as the grass. Take kindly the counsel of the years, gracefully surrendering the things of youth. Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune. But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings. Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness. Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here. And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should. Therefore be at peace with God, whatever you conceive Him to be, and whatever your labors and aspirations, in the noisy confusion of life keep peace with your soul. With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world. Be cheerful. Strive to be happy.

I got this one from April's blog. It touched every part of me.

-----

"Come in." God said. "So, you would like to interview me?"

"If you have the time," I said.

God smiled and said, "My time is eternity and is enough to do everything. What questions do you have in mind to ask me?"

"What surprises you most about mankind?"

God answered, "That they get bored of being children, are in a rush to grow up, and then long to be children again."

"That they lose their health to make money and lose their money to restore their health."

"That by thinking anxiously about the future they forget the present, such that they live neither for the present nor for the future."

"That they live as if they will never die, and die as if they had never lived."

God's hands took mine and we were silent for a moment.

I then asked Him, "As a parent what are some of life lessons you want your children to learn?"

God replied with a smile,

"To learn that they cannot make anyone love them. All they can do is to let themselves be loved."

"To learn that what is most valuable is not what they have in their lives but who they have in their lives."

"To learn that it is not good to compare themselves to others. All will be judged on their merits, not as a group on a comparison basis."

"To learn that a rich person is not the one who has the most, but is one who need the least."

"To learn that it only takes few seconds to learn profound wounds in persons we love, and that it takes many years to heal them."

"To learn to forgive by practicing forgiveness."

"To learn that there are persons who love them dearly, but simply do not know how to express or show their feelings.

"To learn that money can buy everything but not happiness."

"To learn that two people can look at the same thing and see it totally different."

"To learn that a true friend is someone who knows everything about them, and still like them anyway."

"To learn that it is not only enough that they may be forgiven by others, but that they have to forgive themselves."

I sat there for a while, enjoying the moment. I thanked Him for His time and for all that He has done for me and my family. He replied, "Anytime. I'm here 24 hours a day. All you have to do is ask for me, and I'll answer."

"I'll always be there."