Update ulet!

Wala akong magawa. Na-realize kong these past few weeks, puro na lang ako OL. Hindi namana ko ganito kaadik noon. And I just realized that kaya lang ako nagoonline e dahil hinihintay or nagbabakasakali akong OL din siya. So pathetic. Ewan ko kung bakit. Pero sa twing nakikitang kong offline siya, nalulungkot ako, soooobra. :( Anyway, dapat magsasagala ako ngayon e since umulan tinamad na akong pumunta, sayang tuloy ang make-up ko. lol :))

Wala ako sa mood mag-update pero nag-uupdate pa rin ako. Ayoko nang umasang OL siya pero naka-OL pa rin ako at nagbabakasakali. Ayoko nang kumain ng chicken dahil sawa na ako pero yun pa rin ang kinakain ko. Ayoko na ng junkfoods pero araw-araw pa rin akong kumakain ng v-cut. IRONIC. Wtf.

Where: Lemmery, Batangas; Rockport Beach Resort

When: March 27, 2007

The gals: Kuya Obet, Kuya Jack, Kuya Del, Kuya Ramil, Ate Karen, Simon, Kate, Cess, Joyce, Jen, Nica and Onie.



Hosanna's outing yesterday was so much fun though my whole body aches like hell. Call time was around 4-4:30 am pero nakaalis kami ng 6. Haha. How's that? Filipino time talaga oh. Anyway, we arrived past 9, settled down, had some pics taken, changed clothes then ate our breakfast. Right after we rode a boat to go to the next island to go diving. It was my first time and I was freakin afraid. As if I know how to swim. Hehehe. I panicked when I hit the water even if I'm wearing a life vest. Haha. Everybody was laughing at me and I was turning red. Haha. So much for my dream. Anyway, I still got to see lots of fishes and it was so nice. Grabe. Sila kuya Obet ang layo ng narating, kami ni Cess near the boat lang. Hahaha. We decided to head back by 12:30. We ate lunch, had shower, some took a nap and some went kayaking. Ang saya! Hahaha. Kahit lagi kami bumubunggo ni Joyce. :)) Some of us (Ramil, kuya Delio and Onie) went snorkling again but its within the resort na lang. I, instead of basking in the sun, sat on a chair to unwind and listen to my ipod. Simon followed and sat beside me and we had the most serious conversation ever. It feels sooo damn good. :) Tapos naligo na rin ako kasi pictorial na after. Hahaha. I tell you, magsasawa kayo sa mga pictures namin. Total camwhores. ;)



Umalis kami 5:30 na and got home past 9pm. This has been the best outing so far. :)



P.S. Pictures soon to be uploaded.

I watched Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End twice. The first day of showing (with Dwight Anderson) and the third day (with JR).



Captain Jack Sparrow and Will Turner will always be the hottest guys on the planet. <3

I actually don't know how to start this entry. So many things happened last week and my mind is still in utter chaos. All I know is that I'm happy right now. I'm exactly where I want to be. Today is May 22, and today is our first monthsary. In the span of time we have shared together I think this would probably be the most important moment. A moment I would forever treasure. He made it so special and so perfect that I just couldn’t ask for more…I wanted to be with the person that takes all that away from me and shows me how beautiful life is… It’s so amazing too how life works and how God put people in your life. I mean I never imagined that my new friends would even bother helping me out with my issues and dilemmas. I just know that whatever I’m deprived of God makes up for it… and I’m thankful for that…My mom reacted the way I expected her to but then I didn’t even know I was grounded again for the second time and it was worst because I couldn’t use the phone and not even an internet access. I do understand it was my fault but sometimes in order for me to understand my mom, she has to understand me as well… just like how the telephone works… it works both ways… I feel so weak… I want to give up…I always tried to please my her… do everything for my her… offer everything for her but then she never noticed that. I’m not even being sensitive about it because I got so used to it that it feels numb already. All this time I have been doing things for my family but then do they care? I mean I think I should do it for myself now. Everything was for them but things I do would always go unnoticed… I would always be second best to my mom… I was never treated like I am the best for her or special for her… it never worked that way… I was just a kid she never wanted in the first place… Her kid that he can’t stand seeing… These past few years I have been trying to patch up my relationship with her but these past few years brought me nothing but pain. For the first time in my life I am giving up on my mom. I am accepting the fact that maybe that’s all she wants to be and all she could be. That I will and always be second best… I just hate how this affects me… I have always let it affect me and things I do. I mean I do feel numb most of the time and I just hate it when I cry and I feel alone… I don’t want to feel that way anymore… I don’t want him to make me feel that way…Over and over I have proven to myself I am my refuge… I am my home… I will always end up with myself…JR makes me happy… he takes all these pain and makes them smiles, laughter and happiness… He is as important as my best friend to me right now… I am scared of things not working out because I don’t want to be left alone again…. I don’t think I could take that very well…. I hate though of letting him go though but I don’t know if it’s the best for him… if its something I should do… for him… if I should instigate it…All I know right now is that I love him unconditionally and all that matters to me is making me happy… even if it means saying goodbye… letting him go…

my dream guys :)

Yesterday was Mothers Day and I wasn't able to write some entry for my mom. I'm just kinda tamad right now to put up some entry about Mothers Day. Anyway, nothing special happened yesterday. Mom and I had lunch together and we went to her kumare, who also happens to be her best friend since elementary i think. I'll be staying at their house though, this coming wednesday for one whole week! Yesss! Finally, I'll be out of my freakin' lola's eyes. Lol. :)) I hate my lola. I hate my bro. I hate them down to my last breath. They're driving me crazy. I'm goin' nuts! Argh. I just don't get it why they always have to get in the way of my plans, like having sleepovers. They're making such a big fuss about what I'm wearing, say when i wear really short shorts and miniskirts. Living in my house is no different from living in HELL. Seriously. I just need to get outta here before I get burned. It does really suck. Rar.

Anyway, I finally told mom that I smoke. And well. she was cool with it.(at least that's what I think.) And I showed her my belly ring. Know what her reaction was?! "Ano ka adik??" My god. For her only addicts will actually have their navels pierced. Hahaha. Well, I like it anyway so no one's gonna stop me. No, not even you granny the devil! :))

Btw, I had fun last Saturday. Right after our mass, besh (Che-Che) and I went to MOA to get our caffeine fix at Starbucks. We ate first in KFC then headed to look for some stall where we can buy yosi but we were not able to find one so instead we went to Bluewave (walking) to get to Treats and buy my fave pack of West. :) Since going back to MOA will be a hassle, we decided to go to the nearest Starbucks branch we could find --- in Bluewave. AJ, my friend was supposed to meet us there. We were planning to go to Giligans and have some drink. We needed him to come so we can have a ride home but he's not feeling well, daw. I think we got home around11:30 pm 'cause god knows it was so hard to find cabs. Haha. Anyhow, 'twas such a good time.

I would also like to thank my soulmate, Chel, for this wonderful layout. This is awesome. Thank you soulmate. :)]

I gotta go. I'll update next time.:)

BELATED HAPPY BIRTHDAY 22. I HEART YOU <3

habang naglalakad sa kalye ng Dian..

ako: sigurado ka bang dito yung bibilhan mo? parang wala naman ata e.
siya: 'di e.
ako: 'di ka pala sigurado e.
siya: isa lang naman sigurado ko e. ang nararamdaman ko para sa'yo.

OMG. Natunaw ako 'dun. Shet.